A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok so i am in love with this amazing guy, as cheesy as it sounds, i feel as though he is the other part of me. he is so understanding. i met him because my mum started going out with his dad and then we met, we are both adults and told each other we had feelings for each other and things went from there, we live very far away from each other but try to stay in contact as much as possible. no one sees a problem with it and everyone agrees nothing is wrong with it, however I have an anxiety disorder which means i can't stop worrying about what people think, i'm aware of how ignorant people can be and i'm so scared that people are gonna think we are actually related or that we grew up together. help me feel better :( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi
thankyou so much for your responses
i can say that it is not my bf's anxiety it is mine, we have a very strong realtionship and he is very understanding.
which makes the fact i even worry seem all the more stupid!
i thin kthe reason people have an opinion on it is becasue the way in which i've presented it to them and people who shown negativity about it don't know we're togther which is why i've decided to get over my fears and just tell people, most people couldn't be happier.
i am in the process of receiveing help and it's going well,
doctor agrees i have a disorder but is reluctant to diagnose just yet due to my young age.
thankyou so much for your answers, it exactly what i needed to hear
A
male
reader, Prik  +, writes (5 June 2007):
 Saying that it doesn't matter what people think is the problem. The anxiety disorder makes you feel bad about it, although you yourself have no problem with this relationship. I think the most important thing is that you and your boyfriend have the same opinion about it. Make sure that you're on the same line. It will make you both much stronger!I recognize you in my girlfriend. She's also very scared about what people will think about her. Just try to find psychological help, because it's a very common problem.I wish you the best of luck for you and your boyfriend.Oh, and your relationship isn't wrong of course!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): You are very right...logically your relationship isn't wrong. And no one has the right to judge you. Are you sure this is your anxiety disorder or is it his anxious feelings, that are rubbing off on you?? Have you ever had treatment for this anxiety disorder, hun? Who are these people in your life that are taking issues with you and your bf's relationship. Really, hun...it's none of their business. I think people who do stuff like this (judge others) do display the least admirable quality of a human being. To be this unkind to you and your bf, does say to me that they can have their smug, empty moments of glory at your expense...it just makes them 'uglier, nastier' people, doesn't it? So in my opinion, the relationship you are having with your bf , is perfectly acceptable, normal and appropriate, in society. You are not in any way blood related, so you have a right to be in a love relationship. But I can only tell you that. If you do not believe what I am saying to you, then you will always feel like this relationship is wrong. It will take strength and a strong sense of detachment to ignore the negative people in your life. My suggestion...ignore them and live your life. Love is tough to come by and when we have a chance at happiness with a great person..I say, grab it and just be determined to be ahppy, irregardless. If your love for each other is strong..you will overcome these obstacles. However you talk of your own anxiety disorder. Have you ever been diagnosed? Have you ever had treatment for it. Why suffer with it when something can be done. Like cognitive behavior therapy? Anxiety disorders really do place a great burden on the individuals affected, like yourself and their loved ones. Try to learn all you can about this particular condition touching your life so you can help yourself develop creative ways for living and coping with this anxiety disorder. Ask your doctor to look into treatments. Why on earth live this way, when you don't have to? You sound like you really care for this guy. I would hate to see this wonderfully happy, normal, acceptable relationship 'blow up' simply because you are having problems with dealing with what people think of you and your life. No one has the right to judge you on the way you live or whom you choose to date and love. No one! You just have to truley believe in yourself, your nice bf and the love you share. Get some help with this, dear and I wish you all the best in your newfound happiness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for that i appreciate it. but recently people have arised issues with it and seems to have affected his opinion. some seem to think it's wrong that we're together because our parents are together, btw they only met about a year ago and we're both adults ourselves. i'm so in love. what should i do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Thankyou i appreciate that. Well people have said stuff about it, quite recently actually because some ppl think our rship is wrong. But logically i know it's not. He feels the same, but recently ppl's negative opinions have also been bothering him. Should i listen to others?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): It doesnt matter what people think, the most important thing is what you think, dont live your life to make other people happy, live to make you happy. And if an issue arises one day adress it when i happens, but until then dont worry.
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