| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I've been dating my girlfriend for the last 16 months. We don't live together and only see each other at weekends. We chat on the phone mid week.She recently told me that she will be spending a night away camping with a male friend that she met whilst on holiday in Australia. She doesn't know him that well but spent a few days with him (and other people) camping in Australia. He is also much older than her (58 years old, she is 29). I haven't been invited along on the trip.I trust her and know that nothing is going to happen, but can't help feeling let down by her.Is it wrong of me to feel upset ?
View related questions:
on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2005): Yes-I do feel you have a good reason to be upset. She needs to know exactly how you feel. Talking to her may not change the situation but it's important to tell her
you feel wary of this. Trust and communication are key
elements in a good, solid relationship and I'm sure she would appreciate it..if you came clean with your true feelings. I wonder if the situation were reversed...how would she feel? This man is considerably older than her-chances are it's not anything to be of concern. But if you don't know him-you have a right to ask questions, for safety and security sake. It may be a good idea to for you to meet him and see how they interact with each other. This may be all you need to put your mind at ease.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2005): Ask her about the trip. See if that will hint her into inviting you. If not, ask her why she hasn't brought it up. Dating for 16mths is a long time and you should be able to enjoy time together. It doesn't matter if the group doesn't know you or not. You should be with her. If she can't handle that, forget about her. Sure everyone has to trust each other, but I would be upset as well if I was in the same position. Talk to her.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (1 August 2005):
I dont think there is anything wrong with her going on a camping trip with a friend, if you have had no reason to doubt her before then why do so now?
Also, I dont think that your relationship sounds particularly serious if you only meet at weekends, therefore, she has a right to fill in her time with friends.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2005): No it's not wrong to feel upset, but maybe you need to talk to your girlfriend about it. Trust is a very noble thing but doesn't replace gut instinct! Everyone likes to trust and be trusted but at the end of the day we all do what we think is right for ourselves at the time - everyone's idea of trust is based on different criteria. I'd say you don't know her well enough to trust her so easily but there is nothing wrong in meeting an acquaintance. Is she spending the night alone with him or with a group - if a group then I would be very upset that I had not been asked to come along too. By themselves, well? let her go and talk to her about it either before or after but talk - communication is key, and then go with your instinct!!
...............................
|
