A
male
age
51-59,
*mericandream
writes:Ok well im 41 divorced for 9 years and i don't have children. I'm in a relationship 15 months with an Irish girl living in America. We met about 16 months ago at a wedding and were friends first until we got into a relationship.To be honest when we met at first i didn't think i'd ever have thoughts of marrying her because when i met her first she was like a really jumping crazy person and i thought yeah she seems wild not my type , however i got to know her and by the end of the night my view changed she was really friendly and down to earth so i asked her out on a date. We then went on dates for 4 weeks until we got into a relationship and have been together since.There is really one reason i am mad about her and that is because she has brought my dad to Ireland . When my Dad was younger he always wanted to go there always but he couldnt as had me along with my 7 other siblings and couldnt go. My mother died 2 years ago it was like when my mom left she came. My dad became very down in himself because he and my mother were so united and when she brought him last august he became more happy in himself because he finally got to go on a plane and visit Ireland (his grandfather was irish) . Therefore him and my girlfriend get along so well over that.I also met her parents and they are a great bunch too i feel such a connection to her i can't describe it her family there just so welcoming so full of fun. She is an elementary teacher crazyabout children and basically my last marriage ended because my ex wife didn't want children after all . I was going to ask her at christmas but i didnt because i keep getting the feeling she may think it is too early i don't know how long men wait in Ireland to marry irish women and i just am afraid she will say itis too soon that will cause things to become so awkward between us.We talked about marriage,children but it was so long ago i doubt she even remembers.What do i do , what would you do if you were me? We have only dated 15 months but i just feel it is time i said it. If i do do it how should i do it? Where should i do it ? Please help.Shes 30 years old too by the way.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 Oh good grief, you've dated her plenty long enough to ask about marriage or at least bring it up and pose the possibility. Lots of people marry after only 2 months of being together. Quit worrying. She's probably wondering why it's taken you so long. Good luck xoxo
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): I'd casually or jokingly mention that you'll probably marry her some day as an idea in passing if you know what I mean. 15 months isn't that long in my opinion but that's just me though. Then again she could be ready. But AuntHonesty may be right. I have no first hand experience in marriage proposals. But I'd be too afraid of not having a good idea that she'd say yes before doing so as I wouldn't want to put the girl under pressure by making a big effort and having a ring.
I don't know the girl personally and can't speak for all Irish women but I wouldn't do the corny over-the-top half-time at a basketball game type proposal with her. For Irish girls it's about the moment not the display if you know what I mean. Maybe she'd like that though you know her better. I personally would be a 'sunset by the beach somewhere amazing after a beautiful day of doing nothing but spending time to together' kind of person.
The best advice I can give you is to wait a bit longer until you're more sure of those questions for yourself. Surely waiting another month of two and gathering a bit more "intelligence" on the issue is worth doing for such a life changing decision. You could gauge things stealthily by subtly commenting on things like a wedding in a show you're watching, or other such small things if you liked.
One thing I always say though OP is if you're unsure then it's better to be sure. You're sure it's what you want try and be sure it's something she'll want without giving it away of course. Then again the surprize is never as important as the moment. The moment is what counts so make that special make it something that will make her feel special. You should know her well enough now to know what she views as romantic and great.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 Coming from an Irish girl, I think you should ask her, you both seem to have a great connection and the relationship sounds like it is strong, you have nothing to lose, just ask her. If she says it is to soon well you can always go back to the way the relationship was and at least then you can always say you where true to how you felt. Life is full of risks so go for it.
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