A
female
age
30-35,
*rettygirlsmakegraves
writes:hi. i'm 21 and i am kind of confused. i've been with my boyfriend for a year and and a half. he has always been there for me, in the good times and the bad times. i know for sure he loves me for real, and that he would do anything for me. we're both in college and i know we're supposed to be experimenting and all that stuff but we're actually in a committed relationsihp. i'm pretty sure we're gonna end up married eventually, he has even bring it up once or twice and i'm not against it. in fact i have been thinking i might want to have kids with him. i know he likes the idea but.... you think it's too soon??? because i feel im ready for it...i need advice please tell me what you think. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, oneguy +, writes (29 December 2010):
The thing is, that people's view of themselves and the world and the people they love changes constantly, but what they develop by the age of 25 pretty much characterizes their personalities for life, because the frontal lobe of the brain fully develops only at 25.
1.5 years is definitely not a short time to be with a person full time. To me it is an indicator that you like each other.
Nothing is too soon.. but when you're just 21, you should probably just be engaged for now and start learning how life changes after entering into a commitment - it changes because of, again, the perception/view as mentioned before. Your major long term decisions start getting influenced by the needs of the other person's too, of your plans together.. your friends' perceptions start changing. Some may feel jealous of you and constantly goad you into ending your relationship. Some may start looking up to you. Some may feel that they can't be friends with you any more.. strange things can happen.
In my view, nothing is more important than having your life partner by your side in life. I personally feel very happy for my best friend who found his love at around 25 and got married then, when he was still struggling in many ways. I always hear my heart say that he is the luckiest guy I know.
Come what may, don't harbor regrets or think back to see if something would be better had things gone differently. I am sure that you will be happy in life. Just stay in good health, don't harbor negative thoughts, value the people you love, don't hurt them, and don't ever let anyone hurt you. You will do great.
All the best, and yes, congratulations! :)
Regards,
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): Just be together, enjoy the freedom you have, not locked into a mortgage and kids. You have time to do things together, travel for instance. There is plenty of time to committ to being married in the coming years. So pursue your interests, live together - the longer you have to fully stablish your relationship and grow as people, the more successful your marriage will be.
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A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 I think it's something to keep in mind. Just because you're young doesn't mean that you should be fooling around with different people but a year and a half is not an awfully long time in the scheme of things. If you really think you might want to marry this man and have his children then you obviously believe you'll be together forever and if you believe that then you have the rest of your lives to take those massive steps, nothing needs to be rushed into. Take time to enjoy each other and do all the things young people should be able to do. If you still feel this way in a few years, great! If you don't then you'll be happy you waited.
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