A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:when i was 14 i lost my virginity to my then boyfriend Johnny, the following year he dumped me in november a week later i found out i was pregnant around 5 weeks gone, NOONE knew i told noone i was soo scared and was not ready to be a mother i decided that i didnt need to tell anyone as it would be real... 3 long weeks later i has a miscarriage, when i went to tel Johnny as we were still close at the time he had moved on so i stopped hanging around and tlking to him for years he now has a beautiful daughter and is in a relationship with a lovely young girl and im married and just had a beautiful baby but seeing both our daughters grow makes me sad about my misscarriage i cant talk to anyone about this as noone nos about it not Johnny my hubby or parents...i feel Johnny has a right to no but its been 6years we only talk the odd time
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 September 2013):
 It won't bring YOU any happiness or closure to tell him, nor him.
Dealing with a loss like that is hard and it might have been best to have shared it with him BACK when it happened. But that is hindsight for you.
6 Years later is not because you OWE him, but because YOU have a need to share it.
I would talk to someone you can trust about it. Either a good friends, your husband or mom.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2013): No, do not share this with Johnny! He is in the past and you have nothing to connect you anymore.
You are married now, so if anything, you should share something that personal and intimate with your husband, not your ex.
The best option though is to see a therapist so that you can process what happened, deal with it, heal from it and probably be released from the secret you have been keeping from everyone - this must have been a huge burden and I'm so sorry you had to go alone through it. That is when Johnny should have been there, he wasn't, so it's too late to involve him now, especially as he is taken and has his own family now. Forget him, put him in a past Chapter, and focus on YOU, your husband and child now.
Heal from the past, and work on the future with your husband being everything you were always meant to be.
May you find peace in your losses, strength to deal with it and comfort in your husband's love and embrace.
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (13 September 2013):
 Can't you confide in your mother now? Or your husband?
I'm sure if it's bothering you, your husband will pick up on this. If you can't talk to them then as everyone else has suggested make an appointment with a therapist.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2013): There is no point in telling him, there is absolutely no reason he needs to know. Just leave him alone. If you tell him he may just shrug it off and not give a thought to it then won't that make you upset? After all you want him to react to it that's why you want to tell him, right? Or say he reacts to it. Now what. How has this improved anyone's life?
I say just keep it to yourself or tell your friends or your husband. Your husband is the person closet to you so why would you even consider telling this Johnny whom you had only a casual relationship with many hears ago but not your own husband, that isn't right..besides.. Miscarriages are very common and normal. In fact many women don't even know they were pregnant and miscarried.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 September 2013):
No, find a therapist to talk to. There's no point in bringing it up to him, he has a different family now and so do you.
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (13 September 2013):
 I wouldn't if I were you. It would only open up a big can of worms.
Are you able to go to counseling? You really shouldn't keep it bottled up inside and you would feel much better talking about your feelings.
Take care and try to find someone you can talk to this about. Another women would be ideal.
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