A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do you think that at 34 (35 in 2 months) its too late to restart your life?I am living in a country that is not mine... With a man that I no longer love and can't stand him touching me... in a job that sucks... I just have this need to pack and go somewhere and start again everything... BUT I have job security where I am. I would need to start from scratch with work, with love and with just figuring it out on my own and its scary. Anyone have thoughts on this?? I feel like I am existing and not living... Thank you xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (20 March 2015):
I'm 30 and feel more confident than I did when I was 21. Your mid 30's is not too late. It's scary at any age when you go through changes in your life. We all go through changes. It's called fear of the unknown.Job security is everything. As long as you have your job, you'll be able to make changes in your life e.g move house if you need to. Please don't stay with someone you don't love. It's not good for either of you. You need to find happiness and that means saying goodbye to the negative things.I know someone who wanted to be a lawyer since he was a child. But he got married young, got a job as a builder and had 3 kids. But!!!! He never gave up on his career dream. At age 39 he went to university and became a lawyer before he was 50. A lot of people laughed at him when she decided to quit his job as a builder and go to law school. "You're too old" they told him. At age 39 he was too old to some people.But he did'nt listen. His marriage had ended 2yrs before his, kids were all over 16. So he thought "I'm going to do this!" And he's a lawyer now engaged and happy. See...it's never too late to start over.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (26 February 2015):
 Age has no boundaries, period!! Age is just a number, despite what anybody says.
I know many people who are over 50, 60 & beyond, who could give those half their age, a real run for their money!
I am way over 30, in fact, close to 40 & i can honestly say, without sounding arrogant, narcassistic, that most people i meet would never guess my age, nor do they believe me, when i tell them.
My future sister in law, tells me i look better as i age, so too, my younger brother & we are in the best of shape, both health & diet wise.
I cycle 40kms, 3 times per week & i have never spent 1 night on a hospital bed, with the exception of giving birth to my son.
I work 2 jobs, as a nurse of 16 yrs & i am still continuing with my studies. I study with many half my age & we all get on like a house on fire.
Honestly, so long as we're all alive, we are going to grow older whether we like it or not & i am sad to say, that in Western culture particularly, we do not respect older persons, nor do we appreciate them fully.
As soon as they're too old, we place them in nursing homes, bec we're all too busy to care, or bother.
Well, in many cultures globally, getting older is actually revered, worshipped, bec the older citizens are wise & they are the matriaches of the family, they are looked up upon, not down upon.
Many cultures even have initiations for the elderly, so i believe that we can learn so much from other peoples, although we like to believe that they can learn more from us. Wrong!!
We only tend to worship the fresh & the young sadly.
As for your age, dear Lord, i am getting married for the first time in my life & i am over 30!
I am wanting to have another child, yet my son is almost past teenagehood, so it is never too late.
You are as old or as young as you feel, remember that always!
You could be 30 & look & act like you're 50, or you could be 60 & act & feel as though you're 40, so there is no real fine line here.
People will always talk, no matter what, but it's up to you, to believe in yourself.
I have friends completing their Bachelors/Masters Degrees over the ages of 40 & 50, bec when they were younger they had to raise their children & now it's their time & they're doing great, bec they're more experienced & they're more knowledgable, so they bring lots to the younger ones in their respective classes.
So long as you have drive, ambition, determination & a goal set in mind, then you won't fail & i would encourage you to go for it & do it asap!
Also, as far as having children is concerned, don't be too worried about age either, bec as a nurse, i see more & more women come into hospital to give birth & many are over 38, 42, etc; Most have given birth to v healthy babies.
So long as your pre-pregnant body was healthy to begin with, you are much more likely to give birth to a healthy baby, despite your age.
Even younger women have fertility, pregnancy & birth issues anyway.
Society dictates that an older woman can't, nor shouldn't get pregnant, esp over 40, but the fact is that if a woman is still fertile, still healthy, then why can't, nor shouldn't she try for a baby, if she has fallen in love late in life &/or didn't get the opportunity to conceive earlier in her life.
It's her individual right/choice & it's natures call anyway.
So you see, all these things & more, show that you are not too old to do anything that you put your mind to.
You are in your 30s, you are still young in the grand scheme of things anyway.
I work with patients/residents, who are over 80, 90 & some even over 100 & you should see them. Amazing to say the least!
Most people would know of David Attenborough. He is over 90 & he is still travelling the world, making documentaries about wildlife, nature, etc;
If you don't know of him, please google him.
Make it happen, while you still have your health & your cognition.
If you are so unhappy with your life @ present, make some serious changes & don't delay.
If you must leave your partner, as a last resort, then do do.
You don't necessarily have to leave the country, you can continue within yr job, but find new accomodation, with others if you have to, for financial reasons.
You sound a bit depressed. Perhaps you could talk to your local GP, or a close friend, relative, somebody that you trust.
Try to share your feelings with people you like v much, people who you know won't judge you & will support & encourage you.
There is no shame in asking for help/support.
We all need it sometimes, no matter how strong, independent, or capable we are.
Best of luck & let me know how you get on! :-)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 February 2015):
 Go on your search engine, and look up "Grandma Moses".... She is a noted American folk-artist, who took up painting at the age of 78.
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2015):
 I don't think it's EVER too late.
I would suggest though that you make a plan, not just "run" from what is not working right now.
You need to get all your ducks in a row.
That means;
1. you NEED to start saving up.
2. Leave the guy you are with - if you are married then you need to make it legal - that means DIVORCE.
3. look into job wherever it is you want to go. If it's near friends/family TALK to them about living with them while you look for work - don't be afraid to ask for help.
4. have all your documents and personal papers in order (that means passport too) have them in one spot and keep them safe.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 February 2015):
Not too late. I started fresh at 41, left a horrible marriage and a life in a city I hated. Met the man of my dreams, moved into the country on 30 acres and now raise, sell and butcher my own livestock and breed Saint Bernards.
Definitely happier than I have ever been.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): No,it's not too late, but you have to want it.
Just an idea: have you heard of SMART goals? (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely)
Maybe if you think of it in those terms,it will help? It's a bit cliche and tired (and doesn't work for me, but I started from there,researched a lot and found a tactic that does. It's always helpful to use tools if you want to change something).
Good luck with your new life! :) Don't stay where you are unhappy just for the sake of it...
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