A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This weekend I had a huge argument with my boyfriend. He feels that people should not have kids and I feel strongly otherwise. I said that we could stay together and when the time comes (in 9 months) to go back to my home country. We do have a good time together but because somehow he wanted to rationalise his decision for no children with me and I could not understand. Whenever I tried to contradict his statement he would cut me off. After a while it was not even the actual topic but the fact that he would not give me the opportunity to express my thoughts and constantly was telling my I was wrong in all my opinions. He considered this to be a debate but debating is giving someone the time to respond. I reached such a point of frustration after two hours of "debate" that I burst out crying after asking him many times to give me a chance to talk and thereafter to drop the conversation. He , even though I was crying, continued driving home his point that I actually told him to shut up, even made noise to drown him out. I had no way of escape since I was with him in his car and he was dropping me at my home. I shocked myself in my behaviour but I felt so trapped by his statements and his constant nagging and interjecting. I feel kinda embarrased today about the way I reacted but the fact that he would not just leave the subject and kept on forcing his will on me made me crazy. Seriously, I don't know what to do. I feel guilty and want to apologise for my childish behaviour but I am sure he will feel justified in the way he treated.Is it time for me to walk away from the relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): I think he's the one that should do the apologising!
He should at least have had the courtesy to listen to your point of view, even if he disagreed with it. On the face of it, he seems to be trying to browbeat you round to his point of view. The fact that your views on the subject are totally at odds with his does not bode well for the future I'm afraid.
He sounds like a verbal bully, and yes, I think you should call it a day and find yourself someone whose views on bringing children into the world are the same as yours. But hurry, your biological clock is ticking away and time is running out for you to find someone who is suitable husband / father material.
Phil
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