A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Long marriage story...should we split and if so how can we make it on our own?? I've been married almost ten years we met the summer I graduated highschool we have 3 beautiful children. I'm miserable he is miserable but we love each other have fun together sex was awful but for years I've been working on that and its ok now. Just ok. I work fulltime overtime he doesn't work he doesn't have a license has warrants out for random little things does drugs and drinks almst everyday. We tried seperation for 1 year now we are back together 1 year now nothing has changed but I feel like I depend on him to watch our kids because I never know when my shift at work may change if I leave him he will have nowhere really to go cant drive no car so he cnt work to have a place of his own is my husband a loser and holding us back from having a better life and keeping us both miserable help I dont even know where to start. I always wonder if there is a better match out there for me but im in a comfort zone he is all I know. I have noone to give me advice
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female
reader, Darity +, writes (23 April 2009):
 First off, if he doesn't have a job how is he paying for the drugs and alcohol, are you supporting that habit and if so, why?? I feel for you and feel you really do need a change in your life. Yes, I feel you are being held back by this man and I feel sorry for your children to have to grow up in this enviroment. Maybe you could get your husband some help for the drugs and alcohol and help him turn his life around. If he is not willing to change, boot him to the curb. You can do so much better.
Talk communication is everything!
--Darity
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 You are miserable, he is miserable.... dont feel that you are responsible for him not being able to do things cos he cant drive. You are responsible for making yourself and your kids happy. Move on with your life. If you are going to keep finding excuses because he is unable to do something, you will spend the rest of your life unhappy.
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