A
female
age
30-35,
*iaBabe
writes:Aunts can you guys help me!! I’m a 21 year old young lady and I want to be with this guy. He's been my friend since high school ( 4 years ) we get alone great! We are very attracted to each other. We've had sex before, when we first met we were talking/dating but when he wanted a relationship I got scared and pulled away. He was the second guy I've been with and I never had a boyfriend. So we've stop having sex and were still friends, we still buy each other's gifts and go out. But I’m starting to catch feelings again, he's in a relationship now and I care :( I never told him that I’m starting to catch feelings for him.I’m scared that he may reject me. I’m confident but he still can say no! We lost contact over the years because of our attitudes but we always find a way to contact each other. When we both were single, we were watching a movie and he said that he loves me and then we went to sleep. Yes I talk to other guys but it’s not like it is with him. They just want sex; I haven't had sex in over a year. So should I say something? It’s very hard to get him to listen sometimes. I want to tell him face to face but were both at different schools (I’m at home, he's out of state) I don't see him until 3 months from now. I don't know if he wants to be with me. We don't flirt or anything in that nature. I don't want to steal him but what if they never break up? I don't want to look down the road 10 years from now and wonder. I don't know what to do. Some people are saying leave him alone because he's in a relationship. The other people are saying tell him how you feel before it’s too late. He started dating her when we stop talking back in May we just stated back being friends in December. I was talking to a guy that I thought liked me but he wanted sex (Not surprised there lol) and when I mention him my friend got jealous so? I don't know... Any advice will be great. Thank you so much and happy New Year Aunts :-)
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flirt, jealous, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Most welcome. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, TiaBabe +, writes (1 January 2013):
TiaBabe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for answering!!
And Im not going to say anything :)
I wanted too but Im not, I agree with you.
Maybe its not our time or maybe were better off as friends.
Happy New Year :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013):
I don't think aunty bimbim was being rude, sweetie.. Sometimes a dose of honesty is not what we want to hear but it is needed...
I agree with both posts and can only add that if you do choose to do this you could end up becoming a double loser as in you could end up losing the friendship and any future relationship that may happen .
Your his friend thats all at the moment, so be happy for him and his new girl..
And happy new year .
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A
female
reader, TiaBabe +, writes (1 January 2013):
TiaBabe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Ciar !He doesn't know that he's the only special guy in my life. Its been others, just nothing long.He doesn't know anything like what I've wrote.But your right!
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (1 January 2013):
Your friend may be attracted to you or perhaps he just likes being the only special guy in your life. Either way, he's made his choice and as his friend you need to accept that.
Trying to lure him away from someone else will show him a side of you he might not respect and it would taint his image of you permanently.
If you two are meant to be a couple in the future, it will happen without you stepping on toes.
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A
female
reader, TiaBabe +, writes (1 January 2013):
TiaBabe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer :)
But we never dated, I backed out.
& I like what you said but maybe next time
you shouldnt be so rude :)
You don't really know how I feel, you
only know what i wrote.
Happy New Year !
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 You missed your chance, too bad so sad. Now that he is in a relationship the decent thing to do would be to back right off.
If they never break up it means they were meant to be. The fact that you and he broke up means that you and he were not meant to be.
I find it difficult to believe you are even contemplating trying again with him, it demonstrates to me a lack of integrity and ethics. I even doubt your feelings are true, but more to do with the fact you can't find somebody new, just leave him the hell alone to get on with his life with his girlfriend.
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