A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Should I move on? I've been with my partner for over 4 years. We don't live together and have no children together. I've been very confused over my feelings for him over the last 8 months. I don't find him attractive anymore, we don't share the same interests and I'm not really bothered whether I spend time with him or not. We broke up before Christmas and then he said he missed me and wanted us to work it out so I agreed but my heart just wasn't really in it. I think it's time to move on and it's not fair on either of us to keep plodding on is it? Has anyone else, male or female gone through the same?
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female
reader, confused_in_luv07  +, writes (1 March 2007):
i felt that way at one point but if i was u i would move on its just not right to try to make it work and theres nothing to work out.even though it hurts for your partner then you just got to let it hurt
A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 Hi Anon. Yes most definitely move on right away! The longer you keep the poor guy on a string the more hurt he will be and the more guilt you will feel. You are no longer attracted to him and you don’t have any common interests so I can’t understand why you have not moved on already. As the old saying goes "when there is doubt there is no doubt". Maybe you have an emotional dependence? What is important is how you break up with him. Do it as sensitively and kindly as possible. Also it should be face to face and not an e-mail or text message. You have been together for 4 years and it’s a long time. It seems he loves you so he’ll be very hurt and will probably go through some emotional trauma. Don’t offer to be friends right away as this won’t help him get over you; even if you want to be kind. Make it clear that the relationship is OVER and don't let him walk away living in hope. Get on with your separate lives and maybe a sometime down the road you could be friends again but for now keep away from each other. I hope he does not suffer too much. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, Patient1 +, writes (28 February 2007):
 Oh yes dear! More than once. And the best advice I can offer you is to follow your heart. I spent so much time worrying about the other persons feelings more so than my own and I would only make myself miserable. If you're not feeling it any more, than I say "let it go"! If he were the one that you were meant to be with then you wouldn't feel like that. Save yourself from the confusion and wonder. It's hard to let go when you have a long history with someone. But now is probably the best time for you to do so. You are not living together and you have no kids, and now you have no interest in him. Move on and I know you will find someone else to love who will love you back. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Patient1 +, writes (28 February 2007):
Oh yes dear! More than once. And the best advice I can offer you is to follow your heart. I spent so much time worrying about the other persons feelings more so than my own and I would only make myself miserable. If you're not feeling it any more, than I say "let it go"! If he were the one that you were meant to be with then you wouldn't feel like that. Save yourself from the confusion and wonder. It's hard to let go when you have a long history with someone. But now is probably the best time for you to do so. You are not living together and you have no kids, and now you have no interest in him. Move on and I know you will find someone else to love who will love you back. Good Luck!
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