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female
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anonymous
writes: i told my b/f i am not ok with him going to a bike rally for a week with what goes on..women walking around barely naked acting pervocatively at night, dancing on bars naked sometimes, flashing..it just doesnt seem like the place to go if married or in a relationship..he then said well what if i went riding with the bikes where a bike rally was not going on such as florida..he said more than likely we would be at bars at night also but its not at bike week...is this a reasonable compromise? that a b/f goes away for a week to be bar hopping at night? is this appropriate ??..i can see he is willing to compromose somewhat BUT isnt it still a spring break or singles vacation b/c any of these places such as miami or florida can be considered that when going to the bars at night can't it? I don't know what to do.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): I think that for a relationship to work you have to trust each other, this includes when he goes to bars/clubs etc. whether it is at a bike rally or not. I have issues with my boyfriend wanting to go away all the time too but it's not because I don't trust him round other women, I think it's hard sometimes beause when you are in a relationship I think it's natural to want to spend more time with your partner and not to stop going away completely but just cut it down a bit. You don't say whether your boyfriend is constantly going away so maybe this is a once off and you should let him go but don't let him take advantage of you and make sure you get to go on holiday with him as well.
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male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 Hi. It sounds like you're insecure about yourself and the relationship. As other aunts have said you don't own your partner and they should be able to do what they want as long as it's within moral boundaries. The more you trust him the better the relationship will be and the more secure you'll feel too. You should go away on a girls weekend to a spa or something. Without trust you can't be intimate!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): Do you trust him to behave himself while he's away? That's the bottom line, I think, of why you feel its inappropriate for him to attend the bike rally.
In any case, you can't, as the other poster says, tell him what he can or can not do. Try to prevent him and he may well resent it. If you want to keep him as your bf, tell him to go and enjoy himself, and don't give him any grief about it! While he's away, stay busy with things YOU enjoy and talk to him when he calls......a week will quickly go by.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): so think right now what are ur options. if u ask him to not go will he stay? if not then what are u goin to do, stay or go? there really isnt nothing u can do. u cant keep him from doing what he wants to do. so just think of this as something ur doing for him and at the same time protecting ur interests. who know u may actually have some fun too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): I'm not sure it's really your place to tell your boyfriend what he can do and what he can't. If you can't trust him in clubs and bars etc then why are you with him?
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