A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So I know this girl who is really beautiful. Not only is she gorgeous but she's also "easy". You know what I mean by easy, right? She lets a lot of mates have their way with her. I mean, maybe she likes it too. If someone will get her a gift or buy her nice things she'll do sexy stuff or sleep with him.I became friendly with her. And I am attracted to her. But like she's really not into any guy, she likes to play the field. And she's like into everybody but not into any one guy know what I mean?Anyway, I am a guy and I wanna sleep with her. I could probably do so if I buy her nice stuff. But in a way I feel like thats gonna be taking advantage of her, you know? Even though she'd be willing, a girl has got to have something screwy in her head to let so many guys sleep with her like that. So in a way it feels wrong.I would like to hear your thoguhts on this. Is it wrong to sleep with an easy girl? Or if she's willing, is it fine?Thanx muchly. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (25 February 2012):
 Cerberus, I think you have got the wrong end of the stick with my answer. I was purely trying to get the OP to see it from a different point of view.
He is calling her easy, but yet is quite prepared to sleep with her just because she IS easy. What does that make him? he doesn't seem to have a problem with this or see the irony in it.
Girls are only easy if there are easy men to sleep with. Takes two to tango, and all that.
The OP here, appears to only want to sleep with this girl, because she is offering free and easy sex. He is worrying about her being 'easy' yet does not consider himself to also be 'easy' for wanting to have sex with her.
On a personal note, I dont agree with ANYONE sleeping around, male or female. I find it totally wrong and showing little respect for yourself or the other people. For me sex is special, not just a physical act of release.
If people kept sex within relationships, there would be far less trouble and strife in this world.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): "If SHE was a man, who had slept with 150 girls, would you have such an issue with this?"
I would. I did the whole sleeping with almost any girl I could find thing for a couple of years and there was a deeper underlying issue for me too, I was depressed, sad, lonely, angry and bitter when I was doing that and being that way wasn't making me happy even though it was a lot of fun at the time. Celtic Tiger, you and a lot of women talk about it being okay for guys to do it and girls are sluts if they do. But believe it or not times are changing and have changed.
Women telling us that we should be okay with women who sleep around is all we hear but you know some of us prefer to think of men and women who sleep around as not being healthy either. A lot of the time those guys too have every unhealthy mindsets when they do that kind of thing too you know.
The OP isn't being chauvinistic when he says he finds there's something wrong with a girl who sleeps with 150 men he probably feels the same about a guy who sleeps with that many women. The fact he's thinking with his head and not his penis in this circumstance is showing a distinct respect for this girl as more than a just a wet pussy, otherwise he wouldn't even be here in the first place.
Please try not to throw out that double-standard thing whenever you see a guy say that there must be something wrong with a woman who sleeps with so many guys, in my experience there is and in my experience there is something wrong with guys who do that too.
I will never put down a woman for wanting to have and enjoying casual if their mind if healthy and it's just a lifestyle they love nor would I put down a man for that but I will always consider that there may be deeper underlying issues and perhaps this lifestyle is doing nothing but make those issues worse.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (25 February 2012):
OP,
If SHE was a man, who had slept with 150 girls, would you have such an issue with this?
This is the age old question of how men can be players, sleep around and be called 'studs' whereas a woman who sleeps around is deemed to have something seriously wrong with her.
I am not condoning her actions - essentially she is prostituting herself, giving sexual favours for 'gifts'. Maybe she is making a nice profit from all those 'gifts'. Maybe she is a sex addict, woke up one day, and thought 'hang on, I can make something with this'..... and it has spiralled out of control?
Would you pay a prostitute for sex? Because that is all this woman is - a sex worker. Maybe a slightly more decent one, but still the same job.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): it isn't wrong to sleep with a willing girl. but that isn't the question here the question is why does she sleep around a lot. to you the truth I could probably guess why she sleeps around a lot but if I get it right you would want to sleep with her anymore. maybe she's just reenacting trauma from the passed over and over and over again. any way have fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo Very Confused:
I see why you have this name. Look this is the whole reason why I asked this question. if i knew what to do i wouldnt be doin that, now would I?
And it bollocks this whole not judgin people. I mean i aint judgin her good or bad, just messed up and not messed up. And im sorry sleeping with 150 guys is NOT normal. Doesnot mean shes a bad person or a good person just that shes got issues, same as you if you slept with that many people.
And if I ask for advice it means i want a mother here to tell me what to do? Sorry i thought thats what this site was about. Sounds like a little somebody is a lil defensive about sleepin with that many blokes to me that your just reactin. How about you keep yourself and the judgment out and just focus on bein an object agony aunt hm?
Dear Mandy:
If I was nasty Id have done it and not asked the question hm?
Cereberus:
Yep i know its my choice, that i dont need to know. But thanks for all the advice. I decided i probably aint gonna be 151. I aint addin to her messedupness. Thanks man
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (24 February 2012):
 I think you are a nasty peice of work, You dont want a relationship with this girl. you just want a piece of the action. This girl has probably been through something traumatic in her life, so dont car about herself right now, and it's guys like you that want to take advantage of that. She may very well act like she dont care, but inside she's crying for help. youw will be very very wrong to get with her JUST FOR SEX.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): "Wouldnt you??? You think its normal for a girl to sleep with so many people when he financially doesnt have to???"
Doesn't matter, you'd obviously feel wrong doing this because there are too many negatives that you keep pointing out to us. Simple either become number 151 of the many douchebags who have perhaps used her, or don't take the risk that she's a messed up puppy and this lifestyle is a symptom of a wider problem.
Be an uncaring asshole who only wants to get his regardless of what is going on inside her head or don't be. That's your choice.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2012):
 I am sure over the years I have slept with that many people but not for gifts. So what’s your judgment on me?
Is your point is that you want US to tell you whether or not you should make the choice to sleep with her?
If you are making a judgment about her for doing it, what’s to stop everyone from making a judgment about you for doing it?
Why do you need our approval or advice. Aren’t you a grown man?
The truth is if you are ASKING then YOU KNOW what the answer is and you just want to be told. I’m not your mother. I’m not her mother either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo Very Confused,
I think your missing the point. Yeah a girl who is easy may be choosing to be that way, but im sorry, a girl who has slept with like 150 guys in her life has to have something wrong with her IF she is not in poverty and is trying to earn a living. And yeah this girl has slept with that many--if not more.
And she is LETTING me sleep with her because its not like she is pursuing me. She just says yeah I'll do it if i get a gift.
So my problem is whether i should do it even though I know that this girl has got to be messed up to be doing this. Some serious low self esteem. And YES i am makin that judgment. Wouldnt you??? You think its normal for a girl to sleep with so many people when he financially doesnt have to???
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2012):
This is HER choice you make it sound like “she lets” no that’s not what it is SHE CHOOSES to be this way.
Would you say a man who has sex with a lot of girls LETS THEM have sex with them?
Don’t have a double standard. IF she CHOOSES to be overtly sexual and to allow these men to gift her things as a thank you that’s her choice.
IF you wish to be one of those men, that’s your right…
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 February 2012):
 I guess it comes down to your own personal morals and values..
Or you can just let your dick do the thinking.... Apparently you are one of those guys who believes sex is just sex and "easy" women are just walking "holes" to poke.
Man, have a little self respect.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): Is she easy because she wants to be easy, or because she can't say "no"?
If she wants to be easy, this means she wants to be taken advantage of. So go ahead, take advantage of her. She will like it.
But maybe she feels obligated to be nice to people who are nice to her, and she is dragged to bed with them because she can'r rejct them.
If you have doubts, don't take advantage of her because it won't feel good enough. And you may have regrets afterwards.
Why not try to know her better, and then decide?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): You can't win OP. It's catch 22.
I have had similar situations I ended up sleeping with the girl and regretted it but I got over it and I've also taken the other route and stuck to my morals regretted it and got over it.
OP you can be just one of those guys or you can be a person who's different, who goes against peer pressure and your own desires and doesn't bother. Or you can sleep with her and get it done with and maybe lose some self respect in the process or not care.
The thing here is OP if you sleep with an easy girl that makes you easy too, there is no fun, no conquest, no real sense of pride nor achievement in shagging a girl that will shag anyone for gifts. Even when I was a player I didn't enjoy easy girls because there is no sense of pride having shagged her. You wouldn't walk around with pride showing off an old pair of second hand boots you bought in a thrift store would you? No, there's no thrill of the chase, there's no joy of the hunt, nothing.
If this was a simple case of you wanting to bone her and the opportunity being there and just doing it, you wouldn't be here wrestling your conscience. Some guys will bone anything that moves and love getting girls like her that make it easy, well if you value quantity over quality then go ahead. Others prefer being made to work for it, the idea that anyone can have her is not exactly a reason to feel good about banging her. You devalue yourself to the level of all the other guys who have boned her.
I don't date nor sleep with easy girls. I have no problem with them I just feel no sense of accomplishment nor love for them. I have plenty of female friends that are easy and I love them as friends, I'm much more proud of the fact that out of all the men they've had in their lives I've never crossed that line with them and I get something more from them than any other guy has, their love and friendship. I'm special to them and not just some cock.
Go for it or don't, your choice. But I must warn you that you wouldn't be thinking about it this much if there wasn't a big chance you'd feel like shit afterwards. Trust your gut OP. I think it's telling you that this isn't a good idea. Forget about what your friends think, just tell them you'd rather have to work to get it, you'd rather bag a girl who doesn't give it to everyone not because it's more special but because it's harder to do and you let all the other lazy assholes get the easy ones.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (24 February 2012):
 If you think it's wrong you shouldn't do it, like I said. Your friends are not the ones who have to live with YOUR feelings afterwards.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for the answers guys No I am not from WV or Chicago, why there are more like me out there? lol
I think some of you are missing the point. I DONT' wanna be friend with this girl. I just wanna have sex with her and not a relationship. I dont think she is capable of a relationship actually.
Point is, I feel like its treating her like a toy. I mean, I just basically wanna use her body. SO thats why is feels scuzzy.
But my mates say I am an idiot. This girl is so hot why not do it they say, espcially if she dont mind herself really as long as I pay her.
But I think its kinda wrong. I mean even if I am just getting sex out of her and she is ok with it, its kind of like taking advantage of someone anyway.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (24 February 2012):
If it wasn't for the fact that I don't expect gifts, I'd ask you if you were from WV or Chicago...anyway, the question here is of your moral compass. If it says you're doing something wrong (and the fact that you asked this question seems to indicate that you do think you would be doing something wrong) then don't do it, for your own peace of mind. You may not be able to hande the guilt afterwards.
That said, be a friend to her. It's possible she's not doing this out of a sense of sexual adventure but out of a need for acceptance. If it's the latter, she may need a friend more than she needs a lover.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (24 February 2012):
The fact that you ask the question indicates that you have reservations about having sex with this woman. Does she stay friends with the guys she had sex with? does she continue having sex with all of them?
If you feel you can fit in with that then sure have sex with her. I expect you don't even have to buy her anything, probably just give or a few compliments or even just ask her straight if you can have sex,
You may find that your feelings will not be reciprocated.... do you want ever to have a long term relationship? Doesn't sound like she is into that.
If you fall in love with her you will probably get hurt when she has sex with the next guy or if she rejects your attention.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (24 February 2012):
 There are some women that are only after sex, just like men. If all she wants from you is sex and vice versa, I don't see the problem logically. Could you use your time and energy more wisely and safely? Yes. Do I think it's something to be proud of? No. If the idea of having sex with her makes you question whether you should proceed and you feel it's wrong, then don't do it.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (24 February 2012):
 It's not wrong, but honestly, sex shouldn't just be with "some hot easy chick", it should be with someone you care about...
Also, she may have some sort of STD, if she's slept with a lot of guys, especially if she had unprotected sex with any one of them. So that's also a risk with loose girls like that.
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