A
male
age
36-40,
*evil Crazy
writes:Hi all,I am writing to this website again because my mind is in a mess right now and need someone to offer me some enlightenment. Today, my ex-girlfriend messages me online and told me she gave her virginity away to another guy. I don't know why, my heart just ached. I felt miserable. Approximately half a year ago, she walked out on me without discussing with me how me and her could improve the relationship. I was heartbroken then. I had been with her for about 7 months. I know I should move on, I am trying hard, but sometimes my mind just goes places. Sometimes I felt useless as I could not keep a relationship sustainable, although I could say I have done very well in terms of studies and other aspects in life, but love matters simply stumps me. I feel my life is still incomplete even if I have every possible except love.And in addition, I have this kind of thinking which I find it hard to soothe and get rid of. Meaning, although I tend to think that I do not care whether my next girlfriend is a virgin or not, I actually do mind. A lot, too. Sometimes I wonder, is it very stupid of me to keep mine for so long?I know this is sort of a ramble, but I could not help it. I would appreciate more advice from the female side.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): I disagree with the sentiment here.
I'm a male who kept my virginity until I was almost 32 to make it "meaningful." My decision had nothing to do with religion or lack of willing partners.
Now I totally regret it.
Because nobody else saved any "meaningful" moments for me. Now every partner I'll ever have has already had tons of sex in their youth that I did not, and I can't logically even have an issue with this because I technically had a choice too.
I was staying a virgin because it felt important to me not to bestow a whole bunch of baggage & past lover expectations onto my future spouse. And I felt that it would be important enough to a woman that I'd fall in love with that she would probably be doing the same for me.
But the real truth sucks. Now I know I just gave up my teens & 20s sex life for nothing. I'll be frustrated by the fact that any wife that I could ever possibly end up with has lived years of all kinds of wild sexual pleasures that I refrained from (because I though SHE would appreciate it). Numerous partners, great sex in good relationships, and getting laid in their younger years when their feelings were so intense. Now I know I just gave up all that for nothing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Thanks to all of you, I appreciate all answers and the effort you guys and girls take to answer my question. =)I'll save myself for a girl worthy of my first time.Devil Crazy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): It is not stupid for u to have kept your virginity for so long. Stay pure and confident that there is someone for u! Being a virgin will impress some worthy female oneday. She will have greater faith in your devotion to her and the relationship. I am a virgin and saving myself for marriage. Give yourself to someone u love and will love u back for the rest of your lives.
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A
female
reader, Kodgypie  +, writes (10 March 2008):
You can be concerned when your 103 years old and still a virgin, but try not to be concerned whilst your only in your 20's. There are a lot more people in their 20's and 30's that are virgins than you possibly think. But cos the world has gone sex mad, some people are made to feel shame for waiting for whatever reason. Live by your own time frame cos that will make you happiest.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): The changes of two virgins meeting, hitting it off and staying together forever are remote. It is nice and romantic, just not likely.
Chances are that any girl you will meet is going to have had sex before. Remember, she might not have had anything to say about it.
If you want to find love, you have to take chances, a virgin might just be someone who never too a chance before.
If you feel it is special, then wait until you feel sure, but don't be afraid to take a risk and don't deny a girl just because she isn't a virgin anymore.
Worry less about being her first and more about being her last, if more people did that there would be less divorces.
Whatever guys she has been with in the past, she is with you now, but yeah, a lot of men, and possibly women as well, secretly do NOT wish for their partner to have a history. We are selfish and wish our lovers to be OURS.
Don't let it ruin a future relationship, but the feeling itself is not that rare. As for your ex, weird girl, forward the message to her parents and friends. She obviously wants it out in the world. Weird girl, you are better off without her.
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A
female
reader, Harbbey3000  +, writes (9 March 2008):
well dear its not a stupid act rather its an act of discipline.u need to move on with ur life ur ex propably wasnt meant 4 u.i really admire u 4 keeping r virginity till now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Honey it's not stupid at all to want to keep your virginity for so long - any woman you meet in the future would probably prefer if you were a virgin, but knew your stuff, so look up tips on the internet if you ever get to the point where you want sex! She'll appreciate your decision, and it shouldnt be a turn-off unless you're falling into the hands of the wrong woman. So don't feel silly or stupid, because I think it's a great idea. Some people DIE virgins! Anyways, again, if you ever get to the point where you both want sex, make sure to search the internet or this site for tips on how to please her in bed. Good luck :]
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