A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are some of the downsides to a man cheating on his GF with someone he doesn't have any emotional attachment to? If he doesn't care for the girl he's having sex with, like her as a person, or anything, then shouldn't it be okay to cheat physically? How would that hurt the relationship if the girl never found out? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 It could hurt the woman he is with when she finds out she has caught a nasty infection from him that has left her infertile or even worse. It can hurt the woman because if she did find out and it was with someone he did not care about then it shows just how little he thinks of his partner and also women in general if he is going to sleep around with people he doesn't even like.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (6 February 2017):
 You won't hear anyone justify it because affairs are wrong, whichever way you look at it. Emotional cheating may feel worse, but physical cheating is also betrayal. Neither are excusable, as the cheater or the mistress/man-stress.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 February 2017):
 I'll answer your question with a question.
Is this the relationship you always dreamed of? Did you always hope to be the most important woman of all the women in his life?
Or, do you Deserve more?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017): Wow. To me that's actually worse because you're happily gambling entire your relationship to have sex with someone you don't even like. It means you respect your girlfriend so little that you can't keep it in your pants and shows a lack of respect to woman in general as you are happy to sleep with this poor girl even though you can't stand. Showing no respect for her feelings or your girlfriends.
I feel this would actually make anyone a poor excuse for a human being.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017): It's about trust and respect. It is a measure of commitment and devotion to remain faithful. Part of commitment is forsaking all others to be with someone special and in particular. Otherwise; you're just friends with benefits, or in an open-relationship.
If the relationship is founded on both partners being monogamous; introducing a third-party for sex unbeknownst to your committed partner (or without permission) is cheating.
That is a violation of trust, it is total disrespect, it is trifling, dirty, and demeaning to the person who has given you love and trust. It shows you have no honor, and will betray him or her for nothing more than empty-sex for your own selfish pleasure. It means you'll also risk infecting your partner with an STD, or an unexpected pregnancy would certainly complicate things.
How is betrayal okay? It's fine if your partner doesn't care. Not feeling for the person you boinked, while still committed to someone else; also says something rotten about your character. You don't care for either, really.
How could you feel valued and significant to someone who randomly screws whomever they please? It would bother me that I'm devoting my time and emotions to a heartless get-about. We may as well be FWB's; and I do whatever I please as well.
I sure hope this is a rhetorical-question.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 February 2017):
 Sexually transmitted infections.
Next?
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (5 February 2017):
 It's called cheating for a reason, and there's no way to be sure that his partner will forever be in the dark about it. There's another question on here from a girl who's just stumbled across incriminating Facebook messages. Meanwhile her partner still thinks he's having his cake and eating it too and no one is the wiser.
Cheating can have other consequences, too. A man doesn't need to love or even like a woman to catch an STI from her, or to get her pregnant if a condom breaks. Both examples could have real and devastating consequences for the cheater's committed partner, who may end up with a disease that affects her health or fertility or who finds herself having to deal with the knowledge that the man she loved and trusted is going to be a father to someone else's baby.
Food for thought.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 February 2017):
 I don't get your logic.
Either a person is faithful or he/she is not.
If he/she wants to have casual sex with people they don't give a fly's fart about - fine - but WHY not then be either IN an open relationship OR single? Why have a GF/BF? There can't be a WHOLE lot of respect towards that partner if they presume having sex with someone doesn't matter AS long as they do give a single F about that person.
And how would it hurt the relationship? Well, HE/SHE (the cheater) would eventually lose total respect for their partner and cheating USUALLY, comes out one way or another.
People who are USED as a casual BLOW UP sex doll have emotions too and sooner or later ONE of them will FEEL used and lash out. Either by telling the GF/BF or creating drama.
WHY expose a GF/BF who IS being faithful to STD's and potential drama?
Isn't it MUCH simpler to STAY single a SCREW around till his/her heart's content?
Would you be OK with a partner who steals from you? Even if you don't find out? Let's say you inherited some "ugly" but sentimental jewelry from you great grandmother - you never wore them because they were JUST not your style but you kept them because they were a reminder of HER. And your BF steals them and pawn them. Or GIVE them to one of his other women that he don't care about. Would that be OK?
According to your logic that is not a problem AS long as you don't find out!
Or heck your BF poison your dog/cat/canary, but you DON'T find out... so again IS that OK? Apparently, it is...
If a guy/girl meet someone they care about and says HEY are YOU OK with me having meaningless sex with casual people I don't care about? And she/he says YES then obviously is it OK. But to do things BEHIND a partner's back means they KNOW it's not OK and thus HIDES it.
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