A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I had been going out for four and a half years, and for my birthday this year he told me he was taking me on holiday. 2 weeks before my birthday though he broke up with me, he said he needed space, and lots of time apart from me. I rang him 3 days later (expecting him to have changed his mind) and he told me he was going to canada for 2 weeks by himself, and that he was going on my birthday. Before he went we met for coffee, because he said he owed me and explanation, and he told me that he felt like he'd ruined everything, but he still needed to sort his head out. He told me he'd like to go out again when he came back. He gave me a birthday card but no present. Now he's back from canada and i've seen him twice, and he just seems to expect things to go back to normal, he has said sorry, but he didn't even bring me a present back from canada. Is it silly of me to dwell on the fact that he hasn't brought me something back? i want to be with him, but i just feel like he's ruined everything and am finding it hard to forgive him, or forget that he left, i don't even feel like i can tell him this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): I think you need to tell him how you feel, and try and get him to tell you how he feels in return. After fours years it seems strange to not acknowledge your birthday, but maybe he thought since he had broken up with you, he wouldn't need to give you anything. He seems quite selfish to be honest though. I would want a proper explanation for the way he's behaved, other wise whats to stop him from leaving again, and doing what he pleases, then expecting you to take him back again?
A
female
reader, justme4me  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Hi,i dont think it's very necessary for you to dwell on th fact that he brought you noo gift from canada.It's wiser for you to try find out what actually happened(in a polite way)or if he has some serious issues bothering him which he would prefer to keep to himself.Above all,let him know you care more than he could imagine.If he continues that way,something definately must be fishing.Best of luck
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