A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling quite angry right now and I don't know if I am over reacting. My bf and I have been together almost 3 yrs we are both middle-aged, me divorced and him never married no kids. He is slow in terms of moving the relationship forward too quickly. With that said we have a pretty great relationship from the outside, everything seems so perfect and he IS a great guy, but I have been feeling a lack of emotional intimacy and he is like Fort Knox. I guess maybe this is why I feel so angered. Sorry its so drawn out.We text most of the time briefly everyday most of the time when we are done it ends with an xoxo signifying end of convo for now. Sometimes it just lags off. Today i texted him and he asked me about my kids commute to school, then after i answered it was obvious that he must have been busy i did get a txt back then he said "BRB". Then NOTHING so i figured busy at work...ok no problem then an hour later hes in FB commenting on all his friends posts (some of which are female whom I don't care for he does not know that but they are all girls that he had flings with in the past or ex's that he still talks too whom i never met) anyway ALL day on FB its now 12 hrs later and I haven't heard back from him... My question, is I am angry, and hurt, should i be? am I overreacting ? Is he wrong? should i send him a txt telling him how hurt I am...lately i have been feeling like hes taking me for granted as i am disabled and am always unfortunately available...please help I am so angry and I have yet to really flip out on him...we never fight, he gets annoyed sometimes but never fight we did have a couple of bumps that have been sort of ironed out, oh and if it helps he also has never said he loves me yet either, last year after a problem we had he said the only reason he doesn't say he loves me is cause he wasn't there yet. If you see his actions you would be surprised as many are that he has never said it, he always opens doors for me, thinks of me, does anything for me there is just this lack of emotional intimacy that irks me. i am so hot headed right now and pissed off i will not respond to any of his texts or calls tonight because i am so angry i may really cause a blowup. So am I overreacting? Too sensitive? Is this silly to be upset over or is this a deeper issue coming out with this one thing? Thank you Aunts for reading my rant.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Anonymous:, your right I DID need to calm down I was steaming! And yes back in the day I would have had no clue....he did text me last night asked if i was up, this was almost 13 hrs later...i ignored it and continued on FB in the event he could feel what its like when he does that , albeit he does not do this often. He texted me this am 'morning beautiful 'which he hasn't done in a looong time so I knew he was feeling my distance. He also asked if i was ok...i just plainly responded 'no not in a good mood out shopping, txt ya later' so i can gather myself.@iamhertohelpyou not offended and yes his prolific FB'ing is teenage like and yes I believe he is commitment phobic or at least not really intrested in marriage anymore....he is a voracious Internet, fb ,texting user and is on ALL the time, if he wanted to end he conversation we usually do it by sending xoxo meaning ttyl i guess that covers @ honeypies answer tooAlso i agree i need to communicate that to me 'BRB' is leaving me hanging and waiting....i realize i need to keep myself more occupied as to not be so dependent on waiting for a call or txt but like i said i am disabled and sometimes my bed and the Internet are all i have so that sux its easy to be taken for granted is how I feel and @ Aunt Babbitt i know we definetly need to talk about alot of issues...but I am not being over sensitive in this rude not getting back to me but have time for friends right? I just dont know how to say it without him getting all defensive and blowing up...i am really hurt i feel like an afterthought like i am bein taken for granted.But. Do believe men respond to distance not words ,...ughhh this is do frustratingThank you so so for y our responses and time !!!
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (11 September 2013):
 I think that maybe he just forget to text you back but I must agree it's rude to forget your partner over internet friends.
That said, you clearly have issues about the amount of time he spends on Facebook and the people he talks to whilst on there.
I can't help but agree with Iamheretohelpyou that his obsession with Facebook is a bit teenage though and his reluctance to move forward with your relationship a concern.
He comes across as juvenile and scared of commitment.
I really think you guys need to sit down and talk over all these issues and sort it out.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 September 2013):
 Was it an important text?
Is texting how you normally communicate? What is the norm in your relationship.
Because in my marriage it's NOT for communicating, so that is why I ask, texting is RARE it's only used for short messages, I'm going to be late or Do we need something from the store?
Maybe you NEED to talk to him, next time you are face to face, tell him WHAT you need from him in regards to communication.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2013): You are justified but blowing up at him will only make things worse.Calm down, take a breather, and put your thoughts back in order. Give him a chance to come back to you. He doesn't have to be on call 24/7. Just because you have access to Facebook to SEE what he is doing, in the old days you would not have known, you would have accepted your guy was busy and you would appreciate when he finally did get to calling or seeing you...Give him breathing room. Focus on other activities, and if you feel really strongly, avoid his calls and contact tonight ;-) then tomorrow act all normal and check how he missed you :)
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