A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, is it safe to make the "rape" fantasy come true? Me and my boyfriend want to give it a try its both of are fantasies, but i dont want any thing to go wrong or be awkward after it happens, do you just go back right after into being the lovey dovey couple you were? There will be bondage and im a pretty good acter so i told him even if i seem convincing that i really dont like it or want him to stop not to cause its really fine with me, plus he would never do any thing to hurt me and i trust and love him with all my heart. Im just worried about the after part, would doing that change any thing like thinking diffrint or some thing along the lines of that. Thanks for any help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 A little more for those who do not wish to follow links or google this (for general purpose):
There are several safety issues to consider when playing bondage games, concerning consent, abuse, and physical injuries. If you don't feel safe with something then don't do it, there are hundreds of other things you can do instead.
This is NOT something to try with someone you've just met. You really don't know whether they are trustworthy or not until you know them better, however charming they may seem at first.
Never let a partner coerce or bully you into any sexual practice that you don't want to do. It's perfectly OK to say no, a decent lover will understand.
Talk about it beforehand and discuss what you plan to do. Say what you will or will not allow. These rules and limits are sacred and must not be broken during the game.
Have a safe word agreed before you begin. This is something that the passive partner can say if they want the other person to stop, a common safe word is 'enough'. The active partner must then stop what they are doing immediately, and release the passive partner within seconds.
Never tie something around someone's neck unless it is a collar that's specially made for the purpose. There is a high risk of tissue damage, choking, or fatal strangulation. Similarly, gags are potentially dangerous.
If someone is tied up, they must never be left alone. The active partner must make sure they are comfortable, breathing properly, and that nothing is cutting off their circulation.
Do not try bondage in a remote place, just in case there is an accident that leaves the active partner injured and the passive partner tied up with no way of getting help.
If you've never tried bondage before, don't go straight into anything that uses complicated equipment. This is for experts only and has extra safety issues that you may not understand.
The rules of safer sex still apply. Use condoms for penetrative sex. Drink and drugs can cause you to seriously underestimate safety risks. Avoid intoxication.
From: http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/styles/bondageforbeginners
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 May 2010):
Be sure to have a safe word. Maybe read up on bondage pages on rules and how-to's. I have a girlfriend who did this with her boyfriend and they didn't have a safe word and he really hurt and scared her.
Only do this if you trust your boyfriend 100% and you two are close. Don't do it just for fun, this is a game only for the advanced and experienced. It could be dangerous, but also great if you know how to play the game right.
If you have talked about it long enough and covered every detail of it, perhaps start off with a lighter fantasy within the same "area". Then if that works out great, take it up to the rape scenario.
One suggestion is to read this:
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/michellerulesbondage.htm
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Bondage is okay but I wouldn't play out the rape fantasy. That might be taking things a bit too far. But of course, it's up to you.
I haven't heard of this destroying a relationship but if it ever did, who would want to disclose it? Sometimes, we don't talk about it when something goes wrong during sex because we have done something we're ashamed of.
Often, people see it as okay if it is the woman doing the rape, but not when the guy is dominating the woman. I'm just guessing though. I'm not an expert.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 May 2010):
 This is actually a more common fantasy than you probably realize. Yes, it can get awkward, but if you trust each other completely... then essentially it's harmless. The only thing I'd recommend is having a "safe word". Something that you can say if in the heat of the moment you want him to stop since in rape fantasies the words "stop" or "no" don't usually apply.
Just be sure you trust your boyfriend completely, and that he doesn't have any prior incidents involving rape on a serious level.
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