A
female
age
30-35,
*essicadoesntknow
writes:hey to whoever is reading this, thank you in advanceI was in love with this guy two years ago and it finished of badly. I was so hurt, i had never felt anything like that before and even though i was told by people that 'you will forget him' i still haven't. And even though i have been with other people since there isnt really a day that i don't think about him. Is that even normal? and some nights i dream about him and tehy are so strange like him dying (??) or me just feeling that same desperate feeling of when it ended because he goes again. i wish i could just delete him and all my emotions towards him but my memory won't let me. I mean its been two years! and i still have that 'feeling' for him, okay maybe not as sad but i still have those type of feelings for him as i knew him so well.Is my concious telling me that i shouldnt forget him and get back in touch with him or should i settle for this?Has anyone had this? x Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): I am actually in a similar situation.I was going out with a guy for almost a year and then we broke up. It's been 3 years with on and off contact and I still find myself dreaming about him and so on.After a lot of soul searching about the issue, I've found that I just missed what could have been. I'm not sure of your full situation but try writing down what you feel when you think about him, what it is you miss about him, etc.Trust me, it is not your subconscious telling you that you need him back, going backwards in life is not good for personal growth, you must move forward. It's going to take time, it's been 3 years for me and I'm still having trouble. I find that writing down what I'm feeling really helps. It's cheaper than therapy but I don't think you have a problem big enough to seek medical advice or anything. Just stay strong, figure out your goal in life (where he is concerned) and if it points to him and you think it's worth it, than go ahead. But if he is completely wrong for you and you're just dwelling (which is what I'm doing) then you need to let go. Soon it will go away.I promise, it gets better every day for me :)
A
female
reader, jessicadoesntknow +, writes (19 May 2010):
jessicadoesntknow is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for you answer, it means alot. Sorry to hear your in a similar position.you will get through. thanks again, jess x
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A
male
reader, needhelp73  +, writes (19 May 2010):
It is so normal to grieve a relationship that you lost for a long time. I myself am in the same boat having lost my recent girlfriend. I work in grief counseling as it pertains to death and the similarities are the same. After 2 years of grieving though I would definitely see a counselor. If you have health insurance there should be coverage for the sessions. Talking with a professional does help and while you will always remember him and that love you felt, in time with a professional's guidence you will learn to cope and not feel helpless in dealing with your feelings. It's only then that you will ever get back to a place where you can find true love again. I hope you find the balance you need to move forward emotionally and by all means...be patient with yourself. It will and always does take time.
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