A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it right that my boyfriend goes to dinner in a swanky new restaurant in town with 4 other girls, who are single, without me? No reason for it, just because. Friends from uni that is.My heart sank when he rang me to tell me, and dropped in, you're welcome to come but im sure you said you were doing so and so tomorrow night? i just had to respond, yeah i had a plan, but would've been nice to join if i'd known sooner. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): Yes true. Patience is a virtuous trait. I'll keep practicing it. :-) Thank you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 September 2013):
 there is an old saying "hold your friends close and your 'enemies' closer"
I'm not saying these girls are a threat or enemies but it would behoove you to attempt to make them besties....
If they had all gone to a different place I'm thinking it would not have bugged you so much so maybe ask him to go to that place just the two of you..
is he paying for the girls too?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): I hoped we'd grow on eachother, but were at the 2 year mark now. Maybe for some people it takes many years to make eye contact with someone at a dinner table?
I guess I've lost patience with trying. :-)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 September 2013):
 So these are friends from before you two started dating? I really don't see the problem, as long as it doesn't happen constantly.
Going out here and there with friends is pretty normal.
The only thing I find a little rude is that he called you so late that he knew you would most likely decline.
And even if these girls don't like you I would make an effort to spend time with all of them, who knows you might grow on them and they might grow on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): I guess the problem was that they aren't friendly towards me, even if i was free, albeit invited by boyfriend, I wouldn't have felt comfortable or enjoyed myself.
They have all been single for many years, and they are used to having him as an adhoc boyfriend to do all the datey kinda things with, then I come along. He tries to keep us all happy.
We've talked about this, but there isn't anything he can do. I either go and suck lemons, or don't go. He said he doesn't mind either way I choose.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 September 2013):
 If you trust him, there's nothing to worry about. People are free to hang out with whom ever they desire, as long as those people aren't disrespectful to the relationship in any way. So from my perspective, I would say you've really got nothing to be too upset about.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (6 September 2013):
I think you are over thinking this. It sounds more like you are jealous of him being with his lady friends. It sounds like his plans were last minute.
Take the bull by the horns and take him out for dinner there and have a romantic dinner. I'm sure he will enjoy this night more than the other!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 September 2013):
 His going out with four friends from uni, without partners should not cause any concern. The fact these four friends are female should also not give concern.
If it is the swanky restaurant that concerns you, let him know you would also like to see it, and suggest a dinner date for sometime in the not too distant future.
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