A
female
,
*ark_Storm11
writes: Hi there, recently my ex, who i had a 2 year relationship with, came back into my life after a year without talking because his girlfriend had ended with him. We had a lovely time and we got on very well, ive offered to be his shoulder to cry on and he accepted. Recently he asked me to be his f**k buddy, i said yes and then after letting me down 2 by not meeting me (for genuine reasons) he said it was a bad idea. I feel really upset by that and im also hanging on the egde of my seat waiting for his phone calls,i think i want to get back with him,i want to know if i am right to feel this way and how to see if he feels the same way without making it obvious. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): I understand your hopes. I was pregnant when my ex quit on our relationship. I had lost a baby shortly before the break up, and it made me a bad person to be around. He wanted a baby so bad, and it made me feel like a failure losing that baby, since I had four healthy children from my first marriage. Now that our baby is born, he wants to be there with his new fiancee. He brought her to my ultra sound appt., and is trying to get custody. I love him, and wish we could be a family again, like the past 3 years. His fiancee is not a good person, and she makes him support her and her son. I am raising my baby with my older children helping, and they can't beleive the decisions he has made. He has come on to me once, but that is a shallow meaningless thing to do with someone who doesn't love you anymore. I have more respect for myself and you should too!
A
female
reader, lostinadangerousrelationship +, writes (30 November 2005):
I know exactly how you feel. I am having the same problem with my ex. It was 2 years since we had seen each other, and when we saw each other at a club it was like we had never been apart. We spent the whole night together, and kept in contact by phone. Everytime I go home we see each other or try to. I recently found out that he has been married to someone this whole time since we started being f**k buddies again. I confronted him with it and he told me he was only married to her for the kids. I am like you though; the love we shared when we were a couple was magic, and it is really hard to let that go. But we have to draw the line somewhere. If he is standing you up and saying it is a bad idea, you need to let him go and find someone who will love you and be there when you want them there.
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A
female
reader, not again +, writes (29 November 2005):
Please DON"T do it. You are better than that. Is your self esteem and respect so low that you don't mind being used? Please, you will just end up getting more hurt and opening wounds.Do it if you want, but don't expect people to have much sympathy when it all turns to shit.I am being harsh becuase I've been there. DONT do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): i think your ex is USING you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (29 November 2005):
It comes across to me that this ex may use you for sex when he can get round to it and he is having doubts about the idea. You don't want to be used; it seems you want to be a part of his life in the more committed sense and I'm not sure that he wants that.
Rather than making your feelings obvious, simply ask him how he does feel about you because you aren't certain. He has let you down (for genuine reasons) and then said it was a bad idea. Ask him what is going through his mind.
This way, you won't have to reveal how you feel about him and hopefully get the answers you want. Then you can decide whether it is worth your while telling him your feelings or even pursuing the relationship.
I hope this helps.
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