A
female
age
30-35,
*adyleo
writes:i have 3yrs. live-in partner but he is married in his first wife. he make me believe that they are no longer connected to each other. We have 1 son now and for 3yrs. i believe in all his dreams and promises for us. but now i found out that he fooled me. he still in relationship with his wife and the worst is they have a baby too with the same age of our baby. so it means that when i got pregnant her wife is pregnant too. but i did not know it earlier because we have a very happy relationship. he always told me how much he loves me, he always told me about his dreams for our future, he make believe how responsible husband and father he want to be for us. i hate him because he fooled me, but i love him because he mean everything to me. now, i don't know if how can i tell him that i already know everything... i don't even know if i have to stay with him after all. do you think is it right for me to forgive him and take it to myself that i become his mistress forever for the sake of our son? or do a move to let his family know about us, so he can no longer have a chance to run away to his responsibility to our son?.. i know it will cause a big trouble but what should i do? he hurt me so much, he ruined my life. help me please!! i really don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 ...Hi dear, I agree with everything sweetbabes said to you. You love this person, but are you willing to wait 10, 20 years for him to decide to come to you completely? You will be wasting your time and your life. Your decision! Your life. As I think I mentioned before, allow your child and his father to be with one another, but find yourself someone of your own, hopefully marry and possibly have more children. Take care. Good luck.
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Dear Sis,
I understand your situation as you love him very much. But you need to let go of him, you can't sit and wait for him till his wife will leave him, right? You still have a life, you can still find someone who can be with you and stand by you and love you that you can call your own.
Please do the right thing for your happiness sake.You need to be strong and stand up for what is right for you. He can't have you both that is an ill-feeling on your side as well as his wife. Sis, strengthen yourself, face the truth and the reality. You are writing to us now for I feel you cannot stand him living with his wife, it hurts you, right? If it hurts you, then, leave. Set your foot on the ground. I know it is not easy but time will heal the wounds. Right now, you owe yourself a happiness. Pick up the pieces of your life again and live a life with peace of mind and happiness. TAKE CARE.
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A
female
reader, ladyleo +, writes (29 May 2010):
ladyleo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to those who gave me an advice.. it helped me a lot..
i confronted my live in partner about what i discover on our situation.. he told me that he didn't intend to fooled me.. he just really love me and he can't live without me anymore thats why he kept all the truth.. he said that its true that they've been separated but their family fixed everything between them.. he is the Only son & the eldest on his family, he has 4 sisters, his father told him that he want him to lead all his sister to have a good family thats why he can't even leave his wife although they are not happy in their marriage.. he please me to forgive & trust him.. that he feel that someday his wife and him will come to an end of their relationship.. and that time he promise me that he will do a way to marry me...he pleased me to hold on.. but i don't know if i should. i love him but i don't know what's right to do.. help me again please...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): you need to let his family know.
this man has lied and kept his life with his wife a secret. this man cannot and should not be trusted.
so please let his family know what a bastard he is and let him face the music. i am sure his wife would love to know what her husband was getting up to.
you have nothing to lose. if you become his mistress knowingly then you are no better than he. you will be living a lie and your child will be living this lie with you. why must your child be a dirty secret. why must your child suffer? if you become this mans mistress it means that you are ok with him cheating on you.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (22 May 2010):
Hi there, You have a child with this man so you must consider the child's future more than anything else. There will more than likely not be a future for the two of you because the child's father wants to have it both ways, be with both of you. You really should want to have your own man without the baggage. You are entitled to be happy. Try to get him to agree perhaps in writing to help you financially with the child. But for me I would cut the sexual ties with him, and move on to a better situation. He does not mean you well, he only wants to use you it appears. You must increase your self esteem and discuss this whole thing with him. Decide that you want a better life. You love a deceitful person and he will use you as long as you allow it. Find a counselor and talk to them or your minister. This is a depressing situation for you and you should change it. Men do this all the time. There are other men who are single who can at least offer you some hope of a future with them. Break the hold this man has on you and search for a better life. Take care and very good luck to you and your son.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (22 May 2010):
Don't cause any trouble, just leave. When you met him you knew well he is married but you took everything for granted and did not check out how true he is separated...and now, the truth comes out and it hurt you so bad.You are not in a win situation here even if you have a son with him. Don't add more injury to yourself. If he acknowledges your son and signed in the birth certificate as the father then perhaps you can arrange something but this will create big trouble on your part and his. You know the law in our country and you will both be accused of adultery and the wife has proof (your son). So, if I were you, I will just leave without any explanation and try to focus your life with your son and give him the best you can give for him.Don't create trouble, you will be the loser. Just leave without causing harm. Yes, it hurts but you need to face the reality and consequences of your actions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): Right now it sounds like the only thing that has changed is that you realized that he sleeps with his wife. Did you really think a man who is married is exclusive to you? I'm sure he loves you and your son. I'm sure he meant all the dreams that he told you. But at the end of the day, you knew he was married and couldn't make those dreams a reality. Instead, he has given you whatever he can and you have been happy. So why are you unsatisfied today? Is it because you finally realized that those dreams are just dreams?
Right now, your first thoughts should be what is best for your son. So don't make decisions out of spite. Make a decision that would provide your son the best atmosphere and financial situation.
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