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female
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anonymous
writes: Hey everyone.I need someones opinions. Is it the right thing to give up everything for love?I'm in a long term, 2yrs long distance relationship. I'm 23 self employed, have my own business for 3yrs, but still settling some debts, and I'm thinking of giving it all up, to go overseas to a country that I've never lived in, don't know if I'll make it, but my soulmate is living, and working there ,doing pretty well, and doubt that he'll be leaving, and my main reason for doing this is to be happy, and be with him and to learn different things.However, I'll be leaving my family, my friends, the work that I know and have become accustomed to, and I'm scared and feel like I don't know what to do when I get there with regards to employement opportunities.My bf is not keen on coming back to the country where I am, (we both grew up in the same country) so for us to be together, "one" has to give up something. he is highly qualified and will get any job, where as I have experience of running a business, and no qualifications.I really love him, and when we were In the same country it was hard for us to be together through family issues, and overseas we'll be free to do as we please.I'm scared that i won't make it there, I don't want to be a leech in the relationship.He has said that he might come back, but he wants me to be with him, and he was willing to come back to the country he no longer likes to be with me, but I can't live with that guilt.I've though of staying longer with my situation, and save, but I'm scared that he won't wait for me during this time.Should I give up everything for the love of my life, and for the freedom of being together?I'm confused, and need some advice on this situation.Thanks for reading.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (21 February 2006):
 I think this is a tricky one. Love isnt about 'giving everything up', it should be about give and take but you are in a situation where the normal rules dont apply and you are right it is an either or and one of you does have to take the risk.
I wouldn't say definitively you should go either way; you need to follow your heart but temper your heart with input from your head. At least you are not making a leap in the dark; you have spent sometime with this guy in person and you know what to exepect. Logistically it seems to make more sense he move because of his adaptability but if he returned would you still face the same problems with your parents?
Running your own business for 3 years to my mind would look impressive on any CV and I wouldn't undervalue that; not just because of what it is but because it also illustrates you have skills many employers will be impressed by and need. I think you need to think things through carefully and discuss with him at every step of the way. Together you will be able to work out a solution. Good luck with whatever path you choose.
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