A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a freshman in college. Back at the beginning of the semester I met a guy and ended up really liking him. We have a lot of things in common and I think he's pretty great. For a while, I thought he might have been interested in me too, but now I'm starting to doubt that. We've known each other 3 months and I would think that if he liked me, he would have made it clear by now.Here are some of the things I took as possible signs of interest in the past:-He gives me long hugs all the time. He's a really huggy person though, and hugs lots of people, so I doubt this is a sign in and of itself.-However, in the last couple of weeks, he's started doing this thing where after he hugs me, he keeps holding on to me with his hands on my arms or my waist when he pulls away. I don't know if he does this with everyone.-He's asked about my relationship status. At the beginning of the semester, I was in a not-very-good relationship, and he expressed concern about that. I have since broken up and he knows this.-A week ago he walked me back to my dorm from the cafeteria and hung out there for about half an hour to chat. He asked me if I was ticklish (lol) and also commented out of the blue that I looked nice, and then asked if I was blushing. (I was!)-He likes to touch my hair sometimes, but that might mean nothing because my hair is really long and a lot of people like to touch it. *shrug*-We've talked about relationships a little bit in the past. He's mentioned to me that he's only kissed 2 girls. I've told him I've never been kissed (lol). I don't know. Maybe I was just completely imagining it, but I would have sworn that there was *something* there. But he isn't making any further moves. He does seem like the kind of guy to take things reeeeally slowly, but I just wish I could know how he feels. What would you think if you were in this kind of a situation?Oh, and for whatever it's worth, I am extremely shy and reserved, and I guess maybe he could be getting the impression that I only want to be friends with him. I thought I was making it clear that I like him, but looking back I'm not sure that it was really as obvious as that. Do you think I should try to show him more that I'm interested, in a non-aggressive and non-desperate way? What would be the best way to go about doing this?Thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate it. :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Ask him to go get some food (outside of your cafeteria. A restaurant. Any will do, as long as it's not a real hole in the wall.)
Dress yourself up a lot more than you normally do. Don't put on some elegant dress or something. But use a little more make-up than you normally do, or wear some nice earrings, make the outfit look sexy, wear some nice shoes. The point is to send the message that this meeting MEANS something to you.
Hopefully he gets the message once you guys are talking and enjoying your time.
If not, get a little more direct. Make sure your body language is sending signals. Stay close to him. If you're walking stay right next to him as if he were holding you by the shoulder and walking.
Of course, you could always be direct and ask him if he's looking for a girlfriend now or if he's ever thought about you two. But you said you're shy, so I tried to give you advice that doesn't have you putting yourself out there too much. And still be careful with this advice, coming on too strong can be a minus.
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