A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my bf for a yr and recently his dad's been diagnosed with leukimia, he was in the hospital for about a month and he's home now. our relationship has always been very well handled but just recently my bf said he needed space, he said he still loved me but couldnt be in a relationship right now, said he didn't want to lose me but didnt know how long he was gonna take. He said he wanted some time for himself and his family however, it turns out he went out over the weekend when he told me he was just going to stay home doing hw and be with his family. I'm confused because i understand why he would need space for the situation with his father but then again he lied about going out. so is it really his father or is he just tired of me and misses the single life? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): i know i agree with you i too think he's handling this in an immature way, he said so himself he knew he was being selfish but it seemed like he rly thought he rather be without me than neglect me or take it out on me then again idk if thats even the case... it's been hard, i don't contact him or anything but i still don't think im ready to let him go... i'll live my life either way n simply love him from afar afterwards only time will tell. Thank you tho for the responses :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): (adding a little more detail to my story) i tried to reason with him you know tell him if i made him happy why would he think it would be best to seperate himself from me during this time but he said he felt overwhelmed including with school and just couldn't be in a relationship right now because he wasn't feeling like himself, said he was angry about everything going on n felt almost apathetic.. n just before this we had become a bit distant already, we weren't going out much, and he was irritable. Also, because he hadn't admitted to going out i assumed he had something to hide so i told him i wouldn't be around to wait for him... i was going to return certain things i had of his tomorrow but now idk i know i told him i wouldn't wait but i still love him and still want him to come back to me but because he denied the outing i'm unsure... do i secure the breakup and give him back his things even though i still care about him? or do nothing for now, give him his space, and wait to see what happens? and if i do nothing how long do i hold on to his things for?
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A
male
reader, UncleEd  +, writes (25 March 2009):
Why would your boyfriend need space from you just now? Wouldn't he need the closeness and support your relationship provides? It is difficult for me to comment when I don't know either of you, but in my (male) experience, the need for space could be the first step in trying life without you. He may feel too young to be committed to you just now. Talk to him, talk to mutual friends to see what they know. Most of all, protect yourself from hurt. Keep up your friendships, try to keep your morale high and if you feel like it, get out yourself. Next time you talk to the bf, ask what he's been doing in a casual sort of way. If you feel or suspect that he's lying to you, have a serious talk to yourself about the future of a relationship with a person you can't trust.
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