A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So i got into an argument with my girlfriend the other day, one of many. She told me she couldnt take the stress and that she wasnt happy with the relationship right now. She told me she wanted to continue being friends because she valued our connection, but she said she just couldnt handle all the stress shes been getting from my jealousy and paranoia. I kept telling her i would change, but i never did, it got to the point to where sorrys and promises were just empty. A lot of things were said to each other before this argument happened. We both told each other that although we have been in a lot of relationships we have both never felt this strongly towards one another, truly believed that we were soulmates, etc etc. We were together for over a year and it was absolutely beautiful. We have been dealing with long distance but it wasnt an issue for awhile. We originally hooked up because her ex was a real big asshole, and was very cold towards her. Im starting to feel like i may have been giving her the same stress her ex gave her before they split, and if thats the case i have no hope of this continuing. I flipped out at first, got very desperate and told her to give me one last chance, give me one last chance and she said she couldnt because she has given me so many in the past, and she has cut everyone else she has been with off for much less. I told her it would be too painful for me to talk to her on a friendly level and proceeded to block her on messanger and told her to not text me. The next day after putting some thought into it, i barraged her with messages saying that this isnt how i want it to go, that i think we should work on being friends, etc etc. But she never responded, she just signed off. But she signed back on, and i took her not blocking me as a signal that MAYBE shes willing to talk to me once things have cooled down. Really want to know what other people think though. Should i look at this as being over? I know this girl loved me deeply, as i loved her. She told me when all this began that the thought of us splitting up over these arguments made her sick to her stomach, but she seemed so cold when we actually did it. She said she wouldnt blame me if i hated her, and i told her there was no way i could ever hate her over something like this. Has all the hurt over the past month or so made her do this so she could have time to herself to think things through without me constantly getting on her back. I want to ask her if i should just move on or sit here and hope/wait to see if she will want to work things out between us again, but i know thats the wrong thing to do right now.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Viajante  +, writes (24 September 2010):
Breaking up sometimes is like jumping in a cold lake. Some people will hesitate before and eternity before they do it other will just take the plunge. Once you're in the cold water, you might realise you hate it and get out ASAP. Others might face the cold for a while and realise they actually enjoy it.
From what you wrote, I think you need a break to get to know yourself better. You have your own issues and no relationship will ever work out if you don't deal with them.
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