A
female
age
30-35,
*isingstar624
writes:So, my boyfriend and I (of about 16 months) broke up recently. About a month and a half-two months ago. About 3 weeks after breaking up with him (yes i did the breaking up) I met this new guy, lets call him Brad. Brad has been super sweet. I told him that I don't really want to jump into a relationship and that i needed time. We have been taking things really slowly and I know that he really wants me to be his girlfriend, I just don't know how i feel about that. We didn't have sex until about a month of just dating one another. I wouldn't even let him kiss me the first week. My Ex and I still talk to one another. When i'm alone at night I find myself missing him, though i still have yet to decide if it is him that i'm missing or just someone to cuddle with and be there with. We ended on pretty bad terms (long story- short version he made me fear for my saftey) and since have worked things out to being friends and talking to one another. I know that he still loves me and of course i will always love him in a way, My question is is Brad a rebound? We are not in a relationship, that is still not official. I miss him when he isn't around and want to see him on a daily basis. Things he does for me are super sweet, like bringing me flowers or cooking me dinner. I enjoy just cuddling with him and watching movies with him. My mom doesn't think that i'm ready for another relationship yet but i don't know. I talked to Brad last night and he said that he was falling for me and i think i am falling for him too. Is it real or is it just a rebound?
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female
reader, basketball23 +, writes (21 November 2011):
I read up until you said I didn't even let him kiss me the first week. If you think waiting one month to have sex is taking it slow you mistaken hardcore. Hah.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 You broke up with your ex and obviously you had your reasons. If you keep in contact with him as a friend then you are never going to get over him properly. You both still love each other, but it is your decision now weather you move on or if you stay stuck in a rut. My best advice to you would be to get your ex out of your life completely to give yourself a chance to get over him. Give this new guy a chance. But continue to take things slow. If you feel you are falling for him well then trust your feelings.
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Hello, It could be either! The thing is, that the new man seems to be the ex you was in love with plus Brad. In other words, he is doing what you wanted with your ex. However, he is not your ex. You are right to take things slowly. Your mum is wise and she is right to think you are not ready yet. However, you are you and you know how you feel. I experienced similar things a while back and really got close to a new guy. As soon as I had sex with him, I knew I wasn't over my ex. I just didn't and couldn't make myself fall for someone while still in the grieving process. Take things slowly, tell Brad you can't offer too much at the moment, go slow, take things slow. Maybe you had a good reaction when you slept with Brad? Maybe you feel good with him. For me, I just knew deep down I wasn't ready and yet couldn't explain it. If you do feel good then keep going slowly. But, if you do know deep down you are not ready, then that is your answer and I'm sorry to say there is no fooling yourself. I really hope things work for you as he sounds a good guy.
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