A
female
age
36-40,
*egNW67
writes:So... this is all new to me. i have never asked strangers to help me with my relationship but at this point maybe this is the best thing for me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years now. The summer of 2008 he broke things off with me. he said he needed his space. he was sleeping with another girl and lied about it the whole time. we live in a very small town so it got back to me. i did the detective work and found out all the details. we decided to work things out. this last summer of 2009 i broke it off with him because i just felt that something wasn't right. i ended up being with someone else and felt horrible about it. then come to fine out he was hanging out with that girl from last summer. he swears nothing happend but it's the fact of the matter. even though i went and did my own thing i thought we were past "her".... some time has past and we once again decided to try and work things out. the start of november he kept hounding me about things and it was like he was pushing me away. i took it into my own hands and broke it off with the agreement that i was doing this for me and i wasn't going to be sleeping with other people. before this break we had went out with some friends of mine a few times, a mutual friend that one of my best friend was friends with was there each time. when we broke it off he "noticed" her car at a gas station and stopped to talk with her and obviously to get her number. he ended up sleeping with her and casually saw her a few times. every time we do this he tells me how much he loves me and im the one he wants to be with. i disappeared for about a week staying with some friends. he left me alone but was going crazy. we've talked but then come to find out after he was with the mutual friend we were "trying" to work things out. It just seems like he thinks the grass is much greener over the fence but then realizes what we do for each other. so now things have changed. he treats me completely different then before, he's truly showing me that he loves me and is making the effort to make it known. after all this is it worth it? i love him very very much, we are each others first true love. but there is obviously something that i can't or don't want to let go... Please help me! Is it possible to work this out and move on with our relationship and if so what do i need to do to help it? im just a nagging bitch all the time and its not okay. Thank-You!
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female
reader, lovelife1437 +, writes (21 December 2009):
I've heard that the more you have issues and actually see them through by discussing the issues the more you'll love and understand each other. I think it's possible to work things out in the beginning of the relationship but if it drags on too long or the same issues keep being the issues then it might not be the best relationship if the couple continues in the same pattern. I would say if you two keep coming back to each other, then try your best to work things out while you're dating before you decide on marriage and kids especially if you have this kind of a background with each other. It's not a bad idea that you're dating other people as well so that you/him aren't curious, like you said, about the grass being greener on the other side. It's worse to be married and have kids and one of you still thinks the grass is greener. Love is not perfect and no one is perfect but what you can do is try your best so when you do let go, if necessary, then you won't have regrets or look back. Good Luck! :-)
A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (21 December 2009):
 I'm sorry that you are leaving through such a dificult situation, and i do realise how it's difficult when someone cheats on you.I'm a bit pesimist, so don't be angry with what will i tell you.When someone cheats it's really difficult, and to regain confidence is really difficult.If you do believe him and you do love him then you can do it, but most of cases if he cheated then something is wrong in your relationship.And most of the time it doesn't work.I think theres no advice for this situation,, someone will say forget it and go out again with him,others will say leave him and find your self another one.Remeber one thing, in my oppinion you should be really pepared to regain his confidence, are you that strong person...i don't know:) good luck
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