A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiif you are friends with a married man, you spend time alone together, and your friendship has quite obviously taken a turn towards being romantic; you've both admitted to each other that you want more and that you've fallen in love; he's told you that his relationship with his wife is dead, and that he's scared that he isnt going to be able to control himself with you in the future - but you've decided that you are going to try and stay being just friends because you don't want to lose each other when things inevitably turn nasty; do you think that maintaining this friendship is possible?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): just a matter of time before you become his side item. this bull that his marriage is dead - and i am sure he also told you there has been no sex with his wife as well . consider this - if he is not giving it to his wife then who is. also come to terms with this - married people have sex too, with each other, yes hb and wife do f*ck each other.
he is telling you he wants to have sex with you, you naively think you are not giving him the come on. welcome to the seedy world of married mans seconds. in the end this is what you will amount to. an illicit relationship disgused as friendship? in your case yes. you are not this innocent party here. you know what you are doing and you do not care that this man is married.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 You're right, it's not fair. It's a line that married cheaters use to get their side pieces to stick around. He tells you not to get too attached so you don't feel like he's pressuring you (and so he can opt out later) but throws you a bone with the "maybe down the line" trick to keep you hanging around.Later on he will say that he's scared, he's confused, it's not the right time, she is going through a tough time right now, she's psycho, it will be hard on the kids, or some other dumb line to keep you around while he's still married.Watch his actions. If he files for a legal separation or divorce, he's serious. If he stays married and makes no move to end it, you have your answer.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (5 July 2009):
 i dont think he will ever leave his wife for you. if he was planning this by now u two would be together.most married guys never leave their wives for the other women, hence why he's telling u not to get too attached.i still say its not worth hanging around like a loose arm.good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. Not sure why the moderators have titled the question saying that I'm married? Im not actually married, im single, it's him that is married.
He told me he doesnt want me to get too atached to him, but that somewhere further down the line he can see him leaving his marriage and then we could be together! I dont think that this is fair - how can that help but make me attatched to him??
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A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Unless you two plan on getting divorces, I suggest ending this relationship. right now you are torturing yourselves. you don't need to put your hand in the fire to know that it will burn you.
If the current marriages go south then you can see what will come of this, but until the current relationships are delt with, you both are STILL MARRIED and should act accordingly.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (5 July 2009):
im not sure if 2 people who are attracted to each other altho married to other people may be able to stay apart too long.
i mean u guys wouldnt be pulled together if u were both happy in the other relationships.
this is dangerous territory i never condone affairs in marriages because marriage is a sacred contract and to do something as cheating hurts more than 1 person.
put simply its not worth it.
if i was u i would stop communicating with this man and concentrate on my marriage instead -thats my advice.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): No, probably not.
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