A
female
age
30-35,
*ust_me_girl
writes:Me and my friend have been really good friends for about 3 years now, you could say we are best friends. We've always had so much fun and have always talked about everything and it's been great. Lately however she has changed. She has become so self centered it's unbelievable. She only ever talks about herself and whenever she asks something about me it looks like she doesn't even care. She used to have a very low self esteem but now she dresses a bit slutty and has become stick thin. A while ago i had a rather bad problem with my heart while at her house and all she said to me was 'i don't look good in this pic do i?' and i was so shocked that she didn't even offer me medication or something.She is becoming so irritating and so often now i can't even stand to be around her and i feel like she feels the same way about me. We see each other very rarely (about twice a year as i moved to another country although we talk on IM very often). Should i just say to her that i don't want to be friends with her anymore or do i tell her everything i think about her? Please please help me with advice and sorry for this long letter! X
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (5 July 2009):
 everyone changes as they grow up, and suddenly old friends are not as appealing anymore as they change.
ive had many friends who during school were best buddies but over the years ive let many of them go simply becoz we wont on the same page.
the best thing u can do is speak to ur friend and explain how concieted u feel she is. say so nicely and see what she says. it may be she just doesnt realise the way she is and intentionally doesnt do it.
speak to her and find out.
once u get your answer it will make u see if u wanna continue being her friend or not.
good luck!
A
female
reader, SceneXaddicted  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 Just let her be aware of the change. Most people don't see the change in themselves and they need a true friend to show them. Don't be hostile about it, just make it a very private, calm , deep conversation. Let her know that you do care, and you are there for her despite it all. Sometimes phases of change are like an addicting drug, especially when it comes to confidence and popularity.
If things don't progress from there, you have to let her know that she isn't who you were friends with to begin with, and that would make her a different person, who isn't your friend. If she really wants to change back and get her friends back, she will make the effort.
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A
female
reader, FreeAdvice +, writes (4 July 2009):
 I myself would just let things fade away. Seeing as you don't even see each other any more there is no use in starting a fight. You could let her know in a nice way that she's changed and you aren't alike any more.
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A
female
reader, Deathly-Afraid +, writes (4 July 2009):
 This is cirtanly a difficult situation. Im kind of going through the same thing,but tell her your feelings, and maybe tell her that you two need a break from eachother. And if she reacts badly just ask her what happend. How did she get that way? It sounds like her selfesteem has taken a turn for the worse. Maybe comfort her give her a selfconfidence boost, but this won't be solved in one day it takes time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): Before you ditch your friend, ask her WHY she's changed. She might not even realise it or deny it, so if she doesn't admit she's changed then list the things that are different. It might make her stop and think. I don't know your friend but perhaps it's something to do with the low self esteem problems she had. Being confident is great, but not when it turns into being over confident and self centred. As I said, talk to her about it before you decide you don't want to be friends, you may be able to work it out.
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