A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am in a situation and wondering if others can share their wisdom.I am in my mid 20s and have been in a relationship wiht a man now in his early 40s for almost four years. Things were absolutely perfect to begin with but ever since we've lived together he has backed off sexually.I truely love this man but it is driving me crazy. We have sex about once a week when he obviously thinks it is a good time. I can't make advances as they just get ignored or rejected. I can't even properly kiss him as he just isn't interested. Then he finally decides he'd like sex and I have to make all the effort while to begin with he just lays there. After that I am so happy and just want more while he's done for a week or more and returns to nil interest. He acts as though it is something that needs to be avoided at all costs. I am never pushy and have tried and done everything I should or could possibly think of.We have talked it over a number of times but he never likes talking about it and gets really annoyed when I bring it up. Getting increasingly frustrated and upset I spoke about it very bluntly on one occasion which resulted in him going away for the weekend and on his return he said he'd go to the doctor but he never did.I just don't know what to do anymore. It seems pointless talking about it. I have tried so hard but he doesn't seem to be trying at all. The rest of our relationship is great. No major stresses although he does smoke and he isn't eating as healthily as he used to. I am starting to feel like it is a hopeless situation and although it makes my heart wrench just typing it maybe we should end things. I so don't want that but this is torturing me.Is it possible to live sexually frustrated or will it just get harder as time goes on? So many thanks in advance for any advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskSusie +, writes (27 July 2008):
Anonymous,I must tell you that the answer to your question "Is it possible to live sexually frustrated or will it just get harder as time goes on?" is simply, no.It is not possible to live this way.You will need to take this issue as a learning experience and walk away from the relationship with the view to start a new one.Good luck,AskSusie
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