A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help. My man and I got into an arguement because he was talki g to an ex flirting and sending pics. I made him delete her on facebook and tell her to stop texting. I then admitted I sent my ex a pic after i found out he did and i came forward unlike him. He asked ehat kind of pic I said a regular one, now its bern almost a day he wont respond to anything I say to him. He just doesnt text back or anything. What do I do? Does he want me to be the one to force myself to go away? He swears he would never leave me. Is it possible to ignore someone this long and still want to work things out?
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to add some details, he called her beautiful little lady, etc. But he told her he really wants to be with me. He sent her a text letting her go and I seen it. I sent thepicture to my ex long before I confronted him. But since he got put in the hot seat, I felt it was only fair for me to come forth and tell him so we could start over. I really want to work this out and we were both wrong. He said shes just a friend. Im worried now that with him not replying, yet staying a friend on fb and not removing our relationship, I dont know what to think. Does he just need time? Or does he want me to be the bad guy and end it? How long can you ignore your boyfriend/girlfriend and it be acceptable?
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 September 2013):
A lesson you should learn here is "don't do something you know you shouldn't do just because someone else did." That'll only make things worse, as you've found out. Instead, you need to work on fixing the situation that caused the problem. Making your boyfriend delete her and promise not to text her isn't fixing anything, it's simply being controlling.
You need to find out what led him to do it in the first place. Were you neglecting him? Were you making him feel insecure? Is he just naturally insecure, so he needs attention from multiple women? Is he just a serial cheater and there's nothing you can do about it? Etc.
Once you're convinced that you've identified the problem, you need to fix it. If it's not fixable you can either stay with him and chose to accept him for the way he is, or you can leave, your choice.
One thing that just won't work, is nagging and false promises. I had a friend who cheated on his girlfriend countless times. Every time he was caught his gf would make him promise he'd never do it again and she'd start trying to be ultra controlling so he didn't have the opportunity again. Well, he kept cheating because they never addressed the real problem: he had no intention of ever being faithful.
To answer your question, "less than a day" is very little time. Give him a little space, than try to figure out the real reason this happened and fix the problem.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): You used tit for tat to get even. It has backfired in your face.
You already argued about him sending pics to his ex.
Then turned around and did the same thing. You took all the right out of your argument. Now you're guilty of the same.
You can't take it back. He's mad. That is the lesson to be learned by both of you. For him, now he knows how you feel.
For you, two wrongs will not make a right. You got what you wanted. To hurt him like he hurt you.
Here's another lesson to be learned. When a guy is still hung-up on his ex, let her have him. He'll get caught and just sneak around behind your back. He will try and have the both of you, if he can. He was stupid, and deserved to be caught.
You should not let him punish you for being upset that he's still communicating with his ex. In fact, you should be distancing yourself from a guy who will do it now, and will do it again. He wants you to stew about him not talking to you. How about the fact he was with her in the first place?
It's a no-win for you. He will have her in secret if you keep him. He will go to her anyway, if you don't.
Kick his ass to the curb.
Get rid of him, and your other ex.
Stay single until you're over both of them; then start dating a new guy altogether.
You're making a big mess of things and you're making yourself miserable. He's a jerk, and you want to forgive him; because he makes you jealous of his ex. He likes the fact two girls are competing for him. He wins either way.
Take it away from him. You'll hurt; but you'll know you he won't play you while with his ex.
...............................
|
