A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am pregnant and engaged. I just graduated college this past spring. I dated someone when I went to college, I still love him. He is not the man I am marrying. I am marrying the father of my baby, we met this past summer. I hardly talk to my college flame... it's just too hard for either one of us. He's gone on to follow his passion, and has been very successful this year at grad school. I don't deserve my X because I wasn't as good to him as I should have been.. and he might as well be made out of gold. I used to cry myself to sleep, as I lay next to my current man, because I missed my other love so much... now I am just empty. I am marrying a good man, he has been married before but he divorced his wife. He is four years older than I... he is one of my brother's best friends, and he is an army captain. He is very smart, and I'm happy that I'm having his baby, i Think he will make a great father and good husband... but I am struggling so hard to get my X out of my head. With my X, we had intertwined loves and passions.. we worked side by side, chipping away at our dreams... and now..... it's like I'm watching my storybook ending fade away into this fog of a normal gray life. I hope in time I will learn to let the other man go... that time will clip the pain.. and allow me to fully love the man who is willing to stand by my side. But I'm not even married yet, and I'm wishing my life would hurry up and be over with... so that in my next life, I could try again with the man who truly stole my heart away. Is it possible to grow to love someone? To love them more than any other person you've ever known... just simply with time and patience?
View related questions:
best friend, divorce, engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (10 December 2009):
 I can't speak to the growing to love someone, but I really think you could be making a huge mistake marrying this baby's daddy. I feel strongly that you're going to regret leaving behind this other guy, you're always going to wonder what your life would have been like if you went with your gut instead of doing what is supposedly the right thing to do. i think if you have already found love it's better to stay with that love than force it with someone else. i understand he prob can't support you much financially, cause of school, but you should get the other guy in on child support; is he marrying you because he thinks its right or he loves you? it's just a such a risk, finding out that that love never does develop for you two. would your x get back with you, or did you have relations with his other guy while you two were together?
|
