A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Scared to go to the doctors to ask for a abortion. I have just discovered I am a few wks pregnant. This is a massive mistake, I already have 3 kids and split with my partner 7 mths ago. We have 2 kids already and split up because he couldn't commit to us. I live as a single mum with our kids and we recently spent a evening together. I regretted it and put it to the back of my mind. If I kept the child I'd have to give up work as I couldn't expect my mother to look after 4 kids and then live on benefits. If I tell him he may try to talk me into it but would not want to commit to me as he hadn't done with the other 2. My only option is an abortion as I am also iny late 30s. I am scared about seeing the doctor as I had a abortion yrs ago and feel embarrassed at my age, is it possible to go to a clinic and have a nhs abortion??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): You need to see a doctor for an abortion AND tubal ligation, and you need to do so NOW before sperm depositor finds out.
If this is your third pregnancy by the same sperm depositor who "couldn't commit" to you and "couldn't commit" to his first child and "couldn't commit" to his second child, then I have absolutely no doubt he will sweet-talk you into a third child to whom he "can't commit" and in short order have you knocked up with a fourth, sterilization is only alternative to avoid yet another catastrophic mistake.
Based on details and phrases consistent with series of similar previous anonymous postings in which you have always received the same advice that you obviously always ultimately disregarded, at this point I can only also suggest you need to see a mental health clinician for a comprehensive evaluation, for your children's sake if not yours.
Will spare readers previous back story and past situations, but I can only conclude this guy is a master manipulator, if not borderline sociopath, and you have unresolved, long-term, deep-seated issues probably dating from childhood that he is cunningly and shamelessly exploiting for his own selfish gain at the expense of you and your children.
He tells you what you want to hear because he knows you will believe what you want to hear. I'm sure you have good intentions and only want the best for your kids, but he only wants what he wants so he's only using your kids as a pretense for continuing to use you.
Very concerned for obvious reason that based on latest chapter this is a perpetual unending cycle, and as kids get older and with each subsequent rehash of same scenario, long-term effects of cumulative toxicity on kids will only worsen, increasing risk kids will perpetuate another generational cycle of poverty and dysfunction and out-of-wedlock children.
From previous similar anonymous posts I suspect you are looking for something you never had but always longed for, and unfortunately something I always took for granted has for you become an unattainable fantasy that you have absolutely no idea how to properly go about fulfilling, and "ex" is taking complete advantage for his own selfish gain at your children's expense.
Not sure if I got through, don't mean to be unkind but I doubt it, guessing answer will come via future similar anonymous post(s) containing details and phrases consistent with this one.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 July 2012):
If you are sure that's what you want to do, the best option is to go to the doctor. You can't take chances on your health in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Get over the being embarrassing, go see the doctor and get it over and done with.
And I'm sorry you are finding yourself in this position :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): There are many options available in England for abortions and a range of organisations that will help you. It is your decision and yours alone. Get the facts and advice from more than one source and then make your decision on what suits you.
“Abortion has been legal on a wide number of grounds in England and Wales and Scotland since the Abortion Act 1967 was passed. At the time, this legislation was one of the most liberal laws regarding abortion in Europe” (Wikipedia).
Here are some links below:
http://www.bpas.org/bpaswoman
bpas.org number in England: Call 08457 304030 for abortion information
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Abortion/Pages/Introduction.aspx
http://www.mariestopes.org.uk/Womens_services/Abortion.aspx
http://www.mariestopes.org.uk/Womens_services/Abortion/Abortion_for_women_from_Ireland_and_other_countries.aspx
http://www.brook.org.uk/pregnancy/abortion
• Call Brook: England Telephone 0808 802 1234 - free from all telephones including mobile phones
• Text Ask Brook on England 07717 989 023 (standard SMS rates apply)
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Hi
Ime not 100% certain but if your not going private then you have to go via your GP. Make an appointment with one your most comfortable with. I am sure they will be sympathetic to your situation,probably do a test to be 100% sure first. .If not,which is highly unlikely,then you will have to pay privately.
Check online first to be certain you have to go via GP,but its usually them that has to pass you to an NHS hospital.
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