A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible to experience depression if your boyfriend has emotionally abused you for quite some time? Do men who emotionally abuse say cruel things about you and then tell you that you are crazy and that they love you? Or that you should not say bad things about him to your family because then they wouldn't want you to be with him?Or is this paranoia? Or nonsense? I have no idea what to do... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): OH Wow! There are so many abuse questions on the site tonight! It makes me want to cry! It also makes me thank God that I don't have to live like that. I am an abuse survivor. I almost didn't survive. I was a victim of physical, sexual, mental, and emotional abuse. I'm not sure if there is a difference between the last two...I just wanted to be sure to cover all areas of my abuse. Now, you may say "yeah but my guy never hit me." How long have you been together? My ex husband didn't actually lay a hand on my for the first two years of our marriage. But the emotional/mental abuse started about 2 months into the marriage. And ya know what! The emotional scars are still there! I finally left him after 16 years of marriage and I have been on my own for almost two years now. The broken bones and bruises healed long ago, however the mental/emotional scars my never heal completely! I have been taking Lexapro for depression for about 4 years now, I also take xanax for anxiety attacks. Just about 4 weeks ago I told my doctor I wanted to ween myself off of the Lexapro. I felt I was okay and didn't need it anymore. Well I gradually went from 20 ml. down to 5 ml. and just 4 days ago, I felt like I either wanted to commit homocide or suicide, wasn't sure which! I imediately started increasing my dosage again. I'm at 15 ml. now and feeling much more like myself!
My point is, Yes abuse of any kind can cause serious depression. And I found out the hard way that just because the cause is gone, doesn't mean the depression is gone! Now I am thinking I will probably need this medication for the rest of my life! When I finally walked away from my ex, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome!
See a professional! What you are feeling is real! Get the help you need!
I am thinking of you, and praying that you will be strong!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): Hi
You have no idea what to do.....BECAUSE it is possible he has been working on your PERCEPTION CONFUSING YOU.....that is how abusers start....confuse you with opposites love you, hate you, hit you, kiss you, blame you, abuse you.
If you have recognised that you feel confused....are you loosing that feeling of SELF ?
I ADVISE you to ALWAYS STAY AWARE if you remain in this relationship.....personally I WOULD GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN...Relationships like this are very damaging and especially when there are no bruises...PERCEPTION ...FIND YOUR TRUTH AND REALITY...HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE NOT WITH HIM...MORE CLARITY? IF YOU STAY WITH HIM ...STAY AWAKE! AND ARM YOURSELF WITH KNOWLEDGE ON EMOTIONAL AND PHYCOLOGICAL ABUSE TO LIFT ANY CONFUSION. Depression YES!
via con dios
Via con dios.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): I am sorry, my heart goes out to you, hun and to the female anon below. Oh gosh, girls, you need to find inner happiness again and the only way is to get away from the source. Emotional abuse is horrible and it's belittling and it causes great internal damage to the victim. Depression is a very serious sign that the victim must reach out for help somewhere. If you have family or a trusted friend..talk to them and make the first steps to seeking help. You see, an abuser's goal is to slowly erode your feelings of self-worth and independence. So...very often, victims of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without your abusive partner you have nothing. This is the insidiousness and evil of what is happening to you, hun. Sweety, if you are depressed....you really need help, if you feel this is happening to you. Check out the below links for a more comprehensive look at emotional abuse.
http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/
http://www.drirene.com/verbal1.htm
Believe in yourself and believe in your right to be treated with respect from all people who are already in your life and those who enter your life. If you are being emotionally abused, please consider getting away from it. I really do think counseling will help you to deal with the pain and hurt that you have endured. Ask your doctor to steer you in the right dirsction. Stay strong and all the best to you.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (20 March 2009):
 Someone who says cruel things to you does not love you. I'm sorry, there's no simpler way to put that. Get out of this relationship and get out fast. Find your mom, or guardian or sister or friend and stay with them, get yourself back on your feet, go see your doctor.
He or She can provide you with medication that can help treat depression and/or anxiety you may be feeling. There is no home remedy for this.. so get out soon.
Need to talk? send me a private email and I'll be your support, but just get out.
To the poster below me, you can email me too. You need support and I'm offering it to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): hey there u dont say how long uv been with this man but i have been in exactly the same situation for 12 yrs and for me there seems to be no way out simply because he has stripped me of everything my self esteem, trust in people,pride, and yes has made me BELIEVE i am mentally ill. only because i let him. now i havnt got the confidence in my own decision making and feel guilty because i feel im treating him badly. pls pls stop this now it is mental abuse alright and somehow it esculates if u let it im sorry if this sounds harsh but walk away hun xx
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