A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been friend zoned by a girl who really liked me at first (as in, flirting, she initiated a date) and I blew it by waiting far too long to make my feelings known and make a move by telling her so. I understand exactly why I went wrong, and it's all underlying problems with myself which need resolved. I get that. She said she really loves me as a friend, but the chemistry is not there in person. I did not open myself to her at all whenever we met, so any possible spark was killed by me before it could do anything.However, I am going to be unavailable for 3 months to her as a friend. I'm out of the country, and I've been planning on using the work abroad in the US to reinvent myself anyway. My question is this. If I come back after very little to no contact, is there a point in attempting to bring back the early spark we had (which lasted well over a month, I should point out, and only seems to have completely died away in the last three or four weeks) by actually treating her as a possible romantic conquest, or should I 100% accept my position in the friend zone and just not be a pushover with it. Ultimately, is the damage of not making a move and revealing too much of yourself too strong to break even after a reboot and a renewed personality (by this I only mean expressing how I've always been with her online in person etc.) as well as not giving her too much attention etc.? I understand there is no guarantee, and it's likely it's just over. She could be dating someone else by the time I get back. I could find someone this summer too.But if we're both single... Is it at least worth a shot?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Anything is possible. But don't cut her out completely. Drop a text once in a while and even though you are busy answer her texts. If you can't right away make sure you do when you can. Don't ignore her or she may think you are a jerk.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Don't be silly. Of course, if you guys have had a spark it can definetely be rekindled. She seemed to like you before and you guys seem good friends.
If you're afraid of her being taken, make your interest in her known so if she still does like you, she will stay single for you.
Most of all, don't be afraid to take the first step. If she does reject you, what is there to lose? You guys have a wonderful friendship and i'm sure will continue.
Good luck
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