A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I lost my virginity at the beginning of last year to a co-worker. And moved out of state back to where I'm from. We kept in contact for 5/6months. Then in August we stopped talking, I actually think it is because of me that we stopped talking because I always texted him first and I stopped texting him. And then the next time I tried to talk with him and said hi, he OR someone asked who it was, and I never responded. Long story short I am moving back there. I actually talk with his cousin here and there. I haven't told his cousin that I'm moving back there but I bet he'd tell. I have a feeling if/when I see the guy that all the feelings I have/had for him will come back and I won't know what to do. He has a girlfriend and three kids though so I know that dating him is out of question.Is it even possible though to be JUST FRIENDS with him after losing my virginity to him?
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male
reader, Garbo +, writes (19 July 2015):
 No, it's not likely that he would care to be a friend of yours because, from what you describe, all he wanted with you is to have sex. The fact that you had sex with a guy who already has kids and a GF does not mean that he will suddenly drop his GF to be with you. In fact, he may even be apprehensive at knowing you if he thinks that his GF will find out about you. The fact that you ascribe significance of loosing your virginity to him is insignificant to him because he apparently did it and does not care about you any more. Being friends in hope of becoming exclusive, or having sex for the same hope as in FWB, typically means that you will never get him to be committed to you. Regrettably, I think the best thing for you is to forget about this guy and whomever you meet next, be sure you obtain a commitment from him or desire to commit first before doing anything else.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (19 July 2015):
 No. You've had a sexual history with him (while he had a girlfriend and three kids) and you still have feelings for him.
Being 'friends' is just false hope for something more. You'd never have what you really wanted and your presence, assuming he even agrees to have you as a friend, would cause problems for him and his family.
Leave it alone and file him in 'the past'.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2015): "Is it even possible though to be JUST FRIENDS with him after losing my virginity to him?"
No.
He'll either want you back as his piece on the side or nothing.
Why on earth would you want to be friends with a guy whom you know first hand is a liar (if you didn't know about the girlfriend and three kids) and/or cheater (if you did)?
And if you knowingly gave it up for a guy who was cheating on his girlfriend/baby mama then I have to wonder if it was due to your lack of morals, your lack of self-esteem or both.
If you don't come to your senses then hopefully he will and refuse any further contact with a woman who can only harm his relationship at the expense of his children.
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