A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this isn’t a relationship question but I think everyone here is a bit more helpful than yahoo answers. it’s a bit personal. As far back as I remember I have not technically been a virgin (never had a hymen). I was wondering if you could be born without it or not. But I may have lost it when I was a kid. I spent most of my childhood in a foster home with this kid who was a bit “off”. He was 13 and i was 4. I don’t remember it but I was later told that he gave me a lot of burses and tried to drown me. Do you think he may have done something else or am i paranoid ? Any help would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much, your advice was very helpful and reasuring.
A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Hello. The lad was disturbed and being a bully. I expect he behaved like that with the other children too and was closely watched. So unless you have any memories of sexual abuse, dont torment yourself with thoughts about something that more than likely didnt even happen. Yes it is possible to be born without a hymen. Its rare but certainly occurs. So you will either have one thats intact, broken or there will no evidence of one at all. There are physical ways you can break your own hymen and not even realise it. Using tampons, swimming, horse riding, masturbation ect. So try not to worry. If you havent had sex, you are a virgin regardless of the hymens condition. All the best x
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (14 July 2010):
Young lady, you ARE definitely a virgin until you have sexual intercourse with a man. I hope that happens within a loving, committed, life-partner or marriage relationship.
Why are you paranoid? What sort of help do you need at this time? If you are with the right guy, he will know at least as much as you have said here before you have sex. And he will take it as part of what makes you, YOU.
Physically your first experience with sexual intercourse will be about the same whether a hymen is there or not. You will probably have discomfort as your partner's penis stretches the muscles in your vagina. Without a hymen you probably won't bleed at all, but many girls with hymens don't bleed enough to notice on their first time, either. These are all details you don't have to worry about until the event is imminent.
Emotionally you are a virgin until you allow a lover to enjoy your body while being emotionally connected to you as well. It has little to do with a hymen per se, although that little detail can be used to reinforce the idea of being each other's partner in a way that nobody else ever has or will be. It's quite possible to get that connection without a hymen.
It saddens me that you may have been molested. Even if true, that doesn't diminish your value as a person. You can still be respected, loved and cherished. You may even have an increased awareness of your responsibilities toward your own children. Don't judge all male guy persons of the masculine sex based on a few defective, disturbed individuals.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): When I was 6 my step-brother sexually assaulted me, but I have no memory of being raped. It's not uncommon to not remember things like that from your childhood. First off I would like to say I'm sorry that he hurt you in any way. It's really terrible. But to answer your question, yes, you can be born without a Hymen.
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