| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: is it possible not to be able to have an orgasm?!ive been with my boyfriend for 5months now and were sexually active and everytime we 'do it' he waits for me to cum first but i never have, i never have before i was with him either. In this relationship i feel like i am sometimes close but then it just goes but i don't know what it would feel like anyways.is it something im doing wrong??? or is it sometimes not possible to?! please help me!!!
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female
reader, passthechocolate +, writes (4 January 2007):
I didn't have my first penetration orgasm until I was 20 and on about my eighth boyfriend. I find the secret is lots of clitoral stimulation and being completely comfortable with your chosen partner. Also, talking dirty and discussing your fantasies while having sex may also help get you off if you are still having problems.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): I know this can be really frustrating, but if you practice on your own and really experiment with toys and maybe some lubricants too, then I garuntee you will find that magic spot that makes you blow your top.
Once you have discovered how to orgasm alone, you might like to show your partner how to make you orgasm, and if you feel the feeling coming just relax and let it take its course. Its not always easy to orgasm with a partner, I find it impossible! but some women never experience an orgasm with thier partner. But I still enjoy sex and I do get ripples of pleasure.
Ok hope I have helped, let me know if you need anymore advice.
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): didn't have my first orgasm til I was 24. And it was a completely shocking, overwhelming, and amazing experience. It was a relieve because I thought...I can do that? I am beautiful.
I had thought there was something wrong with me and I thought all women faked orgasms. And couldn't figure out the why except it is just accepted that we should for the sake of the man we are with. *shrugs*
For serious.
With the recent EX BF...it surpassed that first orgasm and the ones that followed in my marriage.
What made the differenc?
I wasn't overly trying. I say this as when the monotony of life had me lagged; I was eager to have an orgasm tonight no matter which actually made it harder to have one as I was too focused and lost sight of the spontenaity, the natural way and the connection.
Also...trust in my partner. When my marriage began to erode and my husband grew distant and more abusive...I dreaded the "wifely duty". It's like I would never have an orgasm again.
Yah...but I don't care...I'm trying to give you insight.
I didn't think mulitples were a real thing either.
Boy was I wrong.
It's the connection, the trust, being able to give yourself completely to another, mind, body, soul. I just relaxed and wasn't expecting anything...it happened.
Also...the BF did some reading. I love reading books. I did some too after wondering WHAT? HOW? WHO AM I? ARE YOU HUNGRY?
The human body is a wonder. As it the mind.
I suggest heading to chapters and doing some research and do it with Hubby.
Pornography or Knowledge? Depends on the material I say. If it is too racy...just trust in your partner and explore one another's body.
It will happen and when you are ready.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (2 January 2007):
 All I can say from experience is that if you try so hard for an orgasm...it won't happen. and not having one rests heavily on your mind!! Relax and try not to think about it so much. Then before you know it, it happens!! So enjoy the sex between you and your boyfriend....and don't let it bother you so much, ok
peace and love!!!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 January 2007):
 All though I can't reeeaaallly offer you a solution, I can offer you this.
You're not the only one who suffers from lack of orgasms. I kind of do too. It's annoying, but bearable. I know it'll happen someday... I have faith. You're perfectly normal, and it's a problem that you can probably fix. Maybe it's not just a lack of sexual interest or arousal... maybe it is in fact, medical. There's no harm in going to your local doctor or Planned Parenthood and just asking them what's up.
You're not doing anything wrong. There are somethings you can try out in the bedroom, like vibrators (always a fun addition), or a new position or a change of setting (the car is a bonus... or maybe just moving it into your kitchen!). What's important isn't always the grand finish, but how much fun you have with it. Enjoy sex! Relax and don't force it.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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