A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a question and its something that happened to me a while ago that i have never told anyone as i just dont know who to approach about this....I had been to a gig one night and by chance met an aquaiantance there...whom i get along well with, she had missed the last bus back to her town and had no money for a taxi so i said she could stay at my house,for various reasons i live with my parents, my parents at first did not like the idea of me bringing a stranger home especially this late at night....however i managed to calm them down and they came round to the idea...I had a bottle of whisky in my room and me and my friend drank for a little bit, when my mum complained of the noise...which resulted an argument between my mum and my friend which became quite heated,anyway i once again diffused the situation and my aquaintance (call her m) decided that she should go to sleep, she was sleeping in my bed (I have shared beds with girls before and never had any intention of having sex with them) well i got into bed when m grabbed my arm and wrapped it round her....i moved my arm away as i knew she has a long term bf and plus i have to be very careful about this situation we was both quite drunk.... not to mention i do not like her in that kind of wayshe then grabbed my arm again and wrapped it round her, and her breathing started to get deeper as if she was aroused..but all this seemed to happen at an unnatural rate...she then started kissing me and i kissed back but after about 2 seconds and stopped her saying that this is wrong and that she has a bf.....she said that she was sorry and looked quite sad...when all of a sudden she removed her clothes in a very aggresive manner and got on top of me and performed sexual acts on me in quite an aggresive and selfish manner, then began spitting on me and then put her hands round her throat and started choking me...this was when i began to fight back and she went 'beserk' she started to trash whatever she could get her hands on and was moving in a very erratic manner and still naked...she then burst into my mums room and started physically attacking her....my father called for an ambulance who was being escorted by the police....M then fell downstairs from top to bottom knocking her head which rendered here uncounsious....the police instantly thought illegal substances were involved even though they hadn't at all.....m got taken away by ambulance and my father drove me to the hospital, for some reason i was very worried about m even though she had done some terrible things to me....for the first few hours she had no idea where she was and very little memory of what happened during the episode when i explained to er what happened (i didnt tell her tho that she sexually assualted me)the next day she rang me explaining that she does not want anyone at all to find out about what happened..she said that she had no memory of what happened an felt that she was not in control of her actions as if she was being controlled by some sort of outside forceI have a few questions...1) was i sexually assualted? is it possible for a woman to sexually assualt a man? 2)is it likely that my 'friend' has some sort of mental illness? 3)is it reccomended that i minimise if not eliminate contact with this person, even if i see her occasionaly in my social circle 4) why dows she not wat anyone to find out about this? does she have something to hide
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drunk, escort, kissing, live with my parents, money Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok lets put things into perspective here, 1. M had made it very clear that she had no intentions of having sex on the bus ride with me back to my parents house.2. M plays in a band with her bf who are semi popular on the local gigs circuit, pus she has a child with him, can you think of the possible repurcussions/consequences if i had sex with her? and lets not even begin to talk about the moral side of things here
3. yes I was very drunk but I have been drinking since I was 16 I am 23 now, I am very used to the effects, its ike when ppl say 'oh i cheated on you when i was drunk' It aint nothing but a pathetic excuse
DR LM you make it sound like I was trying to form a relationship with this person I wastnt at all, she has a boyfriend and a kid she has been with her bf for many years, I was doing a buddy a favour and this is what happened...but to dirtball and silent echo i would to thank you..you guys have been the most constructive and helpful/understanding
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): No most men would be flatterd. U said you we're both drunk.she is probably enbarrised!! She has a bf so thts why she dosent want u blabbing. Seriously dude get real men are raped sexual pentration to oral aginst his will u mearly got a show
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): wow... it sounds like you were assaulted, sexual or not. I would avoid drinking with her in the future. In fact I would just plain avoid her.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (21 July 2010):
 You really are a very naive chap. This has been a lesson for you in getting to know (not understand) women. You take her home, meet your parents (admittedly, not in the best circumstances), you SHARE (not give up) your bed with her - then - reject her amorous advances??? This would certainly confuse the most level-headed of us. She must have felt so embarrassed - so much that she, possibly being the type who always gets her own way, decided that's exactly what she would do - get her own way. When you still made it plain that it was "No", she went crazy.
The lesson is, don't assume with women. They think differently to men and react differently to us in given circumstances. You totally rejected and embarrassed her and reaped the result. THINK next time!
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 1) Yes and yes
2) Possible, it could be an excuse for her actions.
3) Yes
4) She's likely embarassed (or should be). She has to hide the fact that she got naked, tried having sex with someone other than her boyfriend. Then went and assaulted this person's (your) mother, all while naked. If she's normal, she's likely feeling some deep shame. I serously doubt she doesn't remember what happened, it is just easier to dismiss that way.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Of couse it's "possible" but itdoesn't sound like it here. What country do you live in? Laws are different everywhere. Take her to court if you're even serious.
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