A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible for a no strings relationship to develop strings? how can you tell if the person is still interested if strings develop? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, maverick +, writes (28 April 2007):
 First... the strings
It's certainly possible. As is the same with colleague relationships and friendships that could also develop deeper. I think you're implying a closer and probably more serious relationship?
The "strings" part you usually hear is a euphemism for "attachement/commitment". (Try replacing strings in the original question with the word attachement/commitment to get a different way of viweing the question!).
If you feel you are developing a closer attachement to this person, then it would be a good idea to think about what it is you ultimately want from them in a relationship (lover/friend/bf or gf/spouse/open/etc?) - well that goes for anyone I guess, but do give it some thought as you are looking at change. Change needs to be handled delicately - more for your sake than anyone elses. Once you are clear what you would want, then it should make looking forward easier.
Second... the interest
I'm not quite sure what you mean by the other person being interested? This is very difficult in any case. This will all come down to how they feel about you now - trying to guage that is really hard. Think about how you are? Do you two have an understanding (beyond the ns-relationship? Do you feel involved in each others lives? Etc?
If you are certain you would like to pursue a deeper relationship, then try to establist a rapport outside of your normal "no strings" relationship. Do you usually go out Thursday night then pop back in late with the other person? Well, how about just having a lunch date on a Saturday? Spend time doing other things together. If he gets put off thats his loss. If he's still around great. You don't have to stop doing the things you do in a "no strings" realtionship. Just make time for stuff you'd consider doing in a "strings" relationship. If he values you he will join you. (Oh and if he says no to other stuff, then see if offers an alternative date)
This would be the best way to "estimate" what his interest level is, and give you a chance for both of you to foster feelings (good or bad) about each other. Then you can take it from there...
Please take care of yourself. M
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