A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible for a marriage to survive an affair when both partners are willing to try. I had an affair and no longer love my husband - I do however feel great affection for him and love him very much as a friend. He still loves me and is keen to keep trying to make us work. We've spent 6 months trying to make things work and there are still massive problems.Do we walk away or keep trying?? I'd be grateful to hear from other people who have been in a similar position as instinct and fear tell you to hold on but your heart tells you to leave.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): Love isn't that heady champagne feeling you had from your affair. You actually love your husband and the sad thing is, now, you don't even know it.
Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): Your young, if you dont love your husband now i wonder how long it would be until someone else catches your eye and you get those butterflies again? You have one life and you owe it to each other to get the best out of it. Maybe its the fear of the unknown - but in that unknown some where you will really really love some one and they will love you back and it will be the whole soul mate thing - whether it happens in 1 year or 10 - you will feel that, We all deserve that big love - you and your husband. Its easier said than done but arent you better being realistic and seperating - as freinds on a good note. Let your husband go out and meet the person who really loves and respects him and you will too. Otherwise you will have a very boring relationship - no spark, and you will be the token 'always having affairs but never happy' wife. I know what i would choose
...............................
A
female
reader, Lainey  +, writes (28 September 2008):
Hi,
I think you know by now what you want to do. It's great you feel like that BUT it is not fair on him if he still genuinely feels it is leading to your marriage getting back on track. If you do have respect for him and want him to be happy, then time's up. It will be difficult for a while, but there is a chance you could salvage a friendship if you sort this out sooner rather than later. Six months is a very reasonable amount of time to have tried, so well done.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): What do you really think love is? I don't mean to ask rhetoric questions, but do you honestly think that any relationship gone on long enough will still have the same thrill and passion as a fresh exciting romance? Is there anything you own that you have had for a lifetime? Emotional passion can only get you through for that amount of time, after that, you have to decide if you're going to spend a lifetime chasing a string of short (or medium) term passionate romances or stake it out with the one person who is dedicated to you to the point where he is willing to work through your affair. He is a thoroughly good guy, a very rare breed. You will have a very hard time finding someone else with his big heart and forgiveness.
think about it: one real and true relationship or a lifetime chasing the idealised and fleeting passion so commonly mistaken as love
...............................
|
