A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am confused. I was dating a guy for 5 months, we broke up, and got back together a month later and are still together, now. My only issue is that I don't feel like I matter to him. He tells me he loves me, he tells me I'm his world, yet I don't feel like I really am. On his Myspace and facebook, he puts that he's single and doesn't even acknowledge the fact that he's in a relationship. I don't think he's told his family about me, the only people who know about me are the people i have met. I am confused as to what I should do. I'm getting sick of feeling like i don't matter.. at the very least I should feel like i do. Am I just being crazy and thinking too much into it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I totally get what you mean, constantly wondering whether does he care bout you, is he serious? Believe me, it haunted me for about a year, but finally it came to me.. for the facebook issue I don't think it's a big deal. I'm with my boyrfriend and I don't state that I'm in a relationship. To me I believe that a relationship is between you and him, don't get mad at him for not declaring his love for you from the rooftop of a building just about yet, I came to realize from my recent boyfriend that they are just as insecure as we are so you have to slowly gain their trust and love, they are just about as afraid as we are. You have to give him reassurance that this is the real thing before he can get serious with you. You have to show him that you are prepared to be serious as well. Don't bother about the petty stuff, just focus on building a strong relationship with your boyfriend, think of ways that both of you can get closer. Just enjoy the time you have with him, don't think so much. relationship and love are supposef to put a smile on your face, not a frown.all the bestxoxo
A
male
reader, gumbbo  +, writes (19 February 2009):
Question him about the facebook and myspace thing, it's one thing to not say anything, like leave it blank, but another to actually state that he is single. Maybe he is worried you will break up and it will be embarrassing to put that he is in a relationship, thine have to change it, but again why wouldn't he just leave it blank?
You need to just ask him about it, men aren't mind readers and he probably has no idea that you feel this way. It was really important to my ex that we declared on facebook that we were in a relationship with one another, i really wasn't that bothered what the facebook people though or whether they knew who i was in a relationship with someone, and i really loved her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's not afraid of PDA, when we're together, it's great but when we're not, he's different, and confusing. I have asked. And he said I do matter. But I guess I need to feel it. I can't go with just words and what he says. And I want people to know that we're dating, and i want someone who wants others to know. I don't know. Maybe I should talk to him about it again. Thanks :)
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A
male
reader, franklydammy  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Aristotle said, "You are what you continually do", am telling you as many scholars and philosophers had said, "You are what you continually feel you are". Dont THINK you dont matter to him until you KNOW you dont matter.The best thing is talk this out with him, don't be shy of it, ask him if you really matter to him.Hope it works for you, let me know if you find this helpful.Yours EmotionallyClem (franklydammy)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): have you spoken to him about this?he may just not like PDAS (public displays of affection) or he may just not notice he is doing it. i would talk to him and ask him straight out. if he doesnt give you a good enough answer then i suggest you take time out on this relationship and find someone who is willing to make it known to the world he is with you. talk to him first. he may be unaware.good luck :)
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