A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy for 5 years all throughout college, and I never really got to experience single life. There were no real problems in our relationship until a few months ago, when I found out that he was flirting and talking to another girl. After fighting about that for a couple weeks, he broke up with me because he was unsure about a future together. But a week later, he wanted to get back together again. I didn't take him back immediately, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in a long term relationship anymore, because I'm so young (20). During the time we were separated, I started talking to this other guy and I'm pretty sure he likes me a lot. But then I also started talking to my ex again and I'm considering getting back together with him. Is it ok to hook up with this other guy and then get back together with my ex? I've never been single, and I want to see what it's like-- but it's probably not fair to my ex if I do that. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): To be ohnest it's up to you at the end of the day. Think to yourself who makes you happier? which ever one of them makes you happier, is the right one for you. If your boyfriend from the start was flirting with another girl while going out with you, could you trust him again? Think about that aswel. This new lad could be the one, and treat you with respect unlike your ex flirting with another girl.
I hope ive been a help some how, it's up to you. Who ever you feel happier with. Good Luck! xx
A
female
reader, help29 +, writes (14 March 2009):
I think its ok.im kind of in a similar situation right now my boyfriend of a year and a half kissed another girl and now were broken up because we both decided that we're both in college and still so young so we wanted to make sure that we both wanted to be together for a long time before we get stuck in a relationship for years. so we're going to try out single life for a few weeks and if we still want to be together after that then maybe we are meant for each other.i think its ok because he's the one who wanted to break up in the first place, what did he think that you were just going to sit and wait for him to come to his senses? thats not how it works. plus what if there's really something there between you and this new guy. you'll regret it if you dont, you'll always wonder what if? and in the end that will cause more problems in your relationship.so i say go for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): You ask if it's "ok".... to which I would be inclined to respond that it's your life, and your choice to do as you please. If you end up following through with it and then getting back together with your ex, he may not be too happy about it, but if you're not together, it's really none of his business ~ some things to think about:What if you have sex with the new guy, and accidentally become pregnant... or get an STD?What did the ex do while you were apart? Did he see other people??How will the new guy feel if you hook up with him, only to drop him for your ex? Will you lose the friendship over it??Is there a chance of your ex and the new guy talking? If so, and they find out about it, you may end up making them both angry, and they might both walk away from you. It's been my experience that these situations tend to backfire or turn out badly. I think the real question you should be asking yourself is whether or not you really want to be in a relationship at all, because it sounds like you don't.
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