A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Is it ok to date your ex bf's acquaintance? My ex bf broke up with me about 5 months ago. Recently this guy who is an acquaintance of my ex asked me out on a date. I knew this guy before I went out with my ex but we were never really friends or really close.So I am wondering, do you think my ex or this new guy im dating would have a problem with it? I'm not sure if this new guy knows who my ex bf was as its never come up in conversation. Should i bring it up? If so how? I am afraid that this new guy im dating might ask for lots of details and i would be afraid he might go and tell my ex bf. My ex bf and his close mates are known for gossiping and making up mean lies about me. I dont feel i can trust my ex in what he might say as he was abusive to me during our relationship so who knows what he will do now. even though he was the one who ended it, he always seemed to want what he couldnt have. i havent dated anyone since the breakup and i am worried that if he knows im moving on now that he might try and do something about it. Also, something weird has happened. As i have recently started dating this new guy ive ran into my ex everywhere!!! But before that i hadnt seen him once since we broke up. I get the feeling hes digging for info. so maybe hes already heard im dating this new guy that he knows? please advise me about what to do in this situation.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 August 2008):
 If this guy is just an acquaintance, not a close friend, I don't really see that it's wrong to go out on with him. To be fair to the new guy, however, you should mention that your ex might have some problems with it, so that the new guy can make his own determination if he wants to continue to see you. If he finds out later that you had withheld who your ex is, he may be angry or upset with you. I'd say get it over with and tell him who your ex is. That way, nothing will come back to bite you later.
It may indeed end the new relationship, but if this is the case, it would have ended later anyway. Things like who your ex is cannot be kept a secret forever.
Sorry to hear your ex sounds like such a jerk. I'd be sure to let the new guy know that the ex isn't as nice a guy as he may seem. Don't embellish, don't be overly dramatic, but do lay out the facts that you feel you can share in a calm, non-drama queen way.
Again, what this will do is lay the foundation of honesty and good communication with the new guy, and that can be built on positively in the future. It'll also show your new guy that you care enough about him to come clean with the distasteful news and some of the details.
Good luck and I hope the new guy appreciates you!
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