A
female
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anonymous
writes:I have had an Internet friend for 3 years because he thought for a while, that he wanted a girlfriend as his wife had been having an affair. In the last year he developed, and was treated for prostate cancer and still his wife lives publicly as his wife, but privately ignores him and uses his money for her lifestyle. They have had separate bedrooms for a few years and she continues to see her boyfriend and wants an open marriage.I know my friend was in such sadness, just wanted hugging and kissing and felt he would never be with a woman again. I realised I cared enough to share those hugs, as I also know for his body to stand the best chance of recovery, he needs what he desires, physical contact.Yes, I know he is married, but under the circumstances we both share the physical closeness that as a healthcare professional I know we cannot postpone until his life is sorted out. I also have a dependent adult son that restricts my freedom so I would like to know what people think if a someone's partner is playing away, causing despair and loneliness, a man with urgent need to repair his body and connect those nerve endings to ever work properly again. I am being 'the other woman' in the same sense if the couple have already started living separately before I became involved and considering the urgency of my friend's health?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn answer to your questions so far. During the 3 years we comunicated we only had coffee twice, but our friendship revolved around mutual support of my own marriage break and the loneliness and isolation that brought, also the confusion he was having in loving a wife who constantly lied to him, texting another man, and even going on holiday with her boyfriend during the time my friend has a radical prostatectomy. Over that 3 years, and prior to our gettin closer physically, it has been a slow realisation that for his own health he needs to break away. His wife already works in London and he has a new job in Birmingham, 100 miles apart. he says he only shares the same house as his son was only 15 at the time and was studying. The house was sold once before I knew him as they planned to separate then, but then his wife realised she is too heavily dependent on his income.
In answer to second response. I naively offered physical comfort because I loved a friend enough, but of course we now realise we are so comfortable in each others presence and have much more that we both have had missing in our lives. It also goes to show that you don't need full penetrative sex to share something much deeper. He is a really nice and sensitive man, always been honest with me in our mailings about his feelings (not then for me) and was already saying how he needed to distance himself from her manipulations. Even her family had told my friend to protect his assets from her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): It doesnt matter what others think you have justified everything before it commences. Have you seen his situation or has he told you all this? Its probably going to be you who ends up hurt and used at the end of it anyway so go on then,do it.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Its still wrong. But, understandable. It would make more sense if the married ones just got a divorce and be with the ones they want to be with. Do you know if he feels the same for you or just dancing with this idea right now?
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