A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it OK for my girlfriend to classify her ex-lover as her best friend amongst all friends (not boyfriend, but she seriously sought after him to be her boyfriend).I'm almost 25, her 24, and him 27... maybe older, can't remember.My gf still talks to her past love interest (yes, they had sex one evening before she met me) on a weekly basis... more than once per week. She says they talk about "work and life as usual". Is this inappropriate? Are my fears that they are building a relationship/rapport with this justified? Are my fears that he's continuing to talk to her because he still loves her justified? (My friend and I both think so). Or should I stop being a worry wort and just let it go already?If I should bring this up, what's the easiest way?
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best friend, her ex, her past Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): ** original poster **
Thanks, guillaume, your answer provide me an odd sense of calmness. Mainly because my buddy and I are correct in assuming this just isn't polite of her.
I'm pretty sure she knows how much agony it puts me in that they are still incredible friends as I have raised hell about it in the past. Somewhere around 4 maybe 5 times and she always gets defensive of him, which really doesn't help my ego of course.
She wants him and I to become good friends, too, for whatever reason. And I'm pretty sure my dislike for him is mutual between him and I.
Oh well... time will tell what happens.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): **original poster**
guillaume, are you saying the easiest thing to do would be to keep moving forward and pray that nothing continues to happen?
By the way... we have been dating for a little over a year now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): oh, i don't know. it's really hard these days. people have had more past relationships than before, and are more likely to end them in friendship than in hate. which can only be a good thing?
i guess he is not very ex, though. maybe the most important question is how does she behave towards you? does she love you? is she happy with you? if so, i wouldn't worry.
anyway just tell her if it worries you. you don't have to make threats or boss her around or even come to any conclusions. just saying "this troubles me" and having a decent conversation about it might help. she might even be glad of a reason to pull away from her ex a bit, even if she doesn't cut off contact in a dramatic final way?
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 This is obviously bothering you a lot, and it would bother me too!
I think you need to tell her how you feel, and if she, tells you she isn't going to stop acting like this, then it is time for you to find a girl who respects you.
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