A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I friend I made a year ago, we met 4 business, but he left (GI) and go back to his base and family shortly after that. We keep in touch as friends, I always send good wishes to him and family. But I wonder cuz he talks about feelings (to his family) thoughts, experiences that he may have toward issues like deployments, things he like , not like. I mean when can you know if someone is doing in it as friend really and not crossing the boundary.Cuz I think, he can say stuff, but it's me the one who should not encourage anything or at least don't let him think so... but how can I do that. Cuz I can make him a comment but I don't know if might take it as something more.Oh, btw, how can I identify if he's just doing it like polite or friendly...right now I don't see he's cross the line, but U never know! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, I care  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 to me if he is spending more time emailing you than he is spending with his wife and children than you need to distance your self and avoid getting into to personal topics that's for him to discuss with his wife not you. It's ok to be friends with him but by being friends dosen't include discussing things that need to be discused with his partner. Lets put it this way you don't want to hurt him and your self later on down the line so distance off a bit this way the line is clear. and if you truely just want to be friends nothing more cus he can't offer that anyway start talking to his wife but don't make friends with her just to get close to her Husband cuz that's not right. Good luck and I hope you just keep things as friends and let him be a faithful husband and dedicated father they way he planned it when he married his wife.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 It seems to me you like this man as more than a friend and you are looking for more from him that he can give you. You're playing a dangerous game with him and need to know that he IS married and is therefore unavailable. Only you know deep down what you would like from this relationship, whether this be his friendship or more but the bottom line is... he's NOT available so don't cause yourself or him, unnecessary grief and look for signs from him that a possible relationship with you are there. HE'S MARRIED, end of!!!
~Eve~
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