A
female
age
36-40,
*ola16182
writes:Hi I have a quick question,What are the boundaries for when your boyfriend goes out to the bars with his friends that are mainly girls? He's in a female profession so like 90% of his friends are girls, which I can deal with. I am somewhat of a jealous person...but as long as the girl has her own bf I don't mind. I have trust issues as 3 years ago when we had dated we went on a break and he started dating someone else a week later and lied about it.We only hang out a few times/wk, and he came over yesterday still dressed in his same clothes. The night before he went to the bars with his girl friends and a few guys and told me honestly yes I was dancing with the girls, they're my friends. Most of them have boyfriends so I don't mind. But 2 of them don't. Apparently he drank too much to drive and slept on a couch at this girls house. Mind you this house belongs to a girl and her boyfriend so that part doesnt bother. The 2 other roommates though are single and he was dancing with them at the bar (not grinding or stuff like that). And then he told me how he turned down one of them. She offered him to come sleep with her instead of the couch. Which he said no.I feel really bothered by him dancing with other girls. Is that wrong? I find it very honest of him to tell me this without holding it back or me finding out and then him confessing. I kind of flipped on him and he got mad saying I don't trust him enough and it's really hard to date someone who is always breathing down your neck.So basically..am I wrong to be upset him dancing with other girls? Or is this ok?And if it is how do I deal with my jealousy issues?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, fwddgs  +, writes (19 March 2009):
I'm not sure how much this helps but, being a student, I think that dancing is a thing that friends do. Dirty dancing, fair enough, but just dancing? Nothing to be worried about. It's clear that your boyfriend doesn't want to cheat on you; he turned down the single girl specifically because he doesn't want to do anything with anyone else, even when he's drunk. As for how to deal with your jealousy, I'm afraid you need someone better versed in this sort of thing. I'm sorry but I don't know what you can do to teach your mind to not conjure up images.
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