A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:is it normal to wana really hurt your partner? i have no idea what to do i keep thinking of the relief i would feel just to slap him across the face or sex every man on the plannet just to hurt him and something is screaming out at me leave him because he doesn't love you, i'm wrapped up in all these emotions i feel weak like i cant breath when we fight and he says its over, like someone has ripped my heart out and showed it to me. he used to be so warm now hes cold really cold i can't stand it iv talked to him about it over and over again i just want affection i was so wrapped up in all these novels about true love and i felt it so strongly so unbreakable. im starting to think i was just this girl who made him feel alive after his wife btw hes 20 yrs older and i have gone through hell and back with that man and i dont know why he wants to hurt me and why he doesnt love me like he did its really not fair and i just need some help what do i do please help me im so depressed at the moment.
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (19 May 2009):
 They say love and hate are very close. It's possible that the more you love somebody the more you can hurt somebody or be hurt by them.
However for true love, you soon break out of that cycle as you don't want to hurt him, or he hurt you. I really mean in terms of arguments, rather than unfaithfulness or violence.
At what point did you decide you don't deserve being treated well, or do you think it's the way ahead to treat somebody in this way? Do as you would be done by and if you treat somebody with the respect that you deserve.
So that tells me you have confidence issues and low self-respect. If you are in a good relationship, you boost each-others confidence nad self-esteem not chip away at it.
By the sounds of it, you are wondering what you have in common and you have fallen out of love.
Why drag him through hell and back, it doesn't make sense.
If he's hurt you and you are drifting apart, then there is no need to be filled with rage and revenge, just leave. It sounds like he has a lot of baggage, do you really want a guy with baggage, who used you, to get over his ex-wife? By the way I don't like 20 year age-gaps.
You are worthy of being happy and in a loving relationship. You are young enough to have the time to find somebody else.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This isn't a relationship, its a punishment! And no, as much as you want to smack him..don't lower yourself to that. When I read your thread I was so sad and feeling quite annoyed. Sad for you and annoyed as hell, for you, as well. What is it exactly that you love in this man? I was always taught the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. And indifference is worse than hate. With hate their is feelings and passion albit..negative. this man is indifferent..he doesn't care one bit. You are 18-21 years old.....at what stage did you consider yourself only worth a few snippets of love affection and attention? If you were to leave for an amount of time and he didn't miss you, its not because he's stupid, its because he's a selfish, cold man. So, my opinion is that you are better off alone restoring and getting back your self worth than being with this guy who appears to be depleting your confidence and worthiness as a human being. And he's doing this because you are allowing it. You are young, and vibrant...don't allow anyone to tear you down in life like this. There are good men out there. You did nothing to deserve this inhumane treatment. Get out of there. Good luck and once you heal and recover, go find someone who makes you his feel like you are on top of the world. There are amazingly wonderful, good men out there,,,dump this ass and go find one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): when you think like that and feel this way, then its deffinately time to move on from this man.
Why stay around? find someone who can give you what you need.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 May 2009):
No it's not normal.
It shows that you have stuck around far too long.
You sound a little inexperienced so I will give you the number 1 rule to live by.
When you stop being happy with a guy, you leave him. You don't let him drag you through hell and hurt you and treat you bad.
Leave now and don't make this mistake again.
Good Luck!! xx
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