A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal to spend holidays w an ex’s family when the child is in their mid 20s? Supposedly it was an ugly divorce. He does enjoy the company of his ex in laws. So do I but I rarely see them because I haven’t been in laws with them in 15 years. I probably see my kid’s paternal grandparents twice a year for only an hour of 2. I’m divorced and we did have group activities(with my ex and his wife) but that began to fade in middle school when our child was about 11-12. I think his wife never felt comfortable tbh but she was very young, around 25-26 yrs old when she came into the picture. I’m at a loss as to what to make of this current situation since my boyfriend’s kids are adults and live independently. My bf didn’t call me at all Sat or Sunday which is a bit unusual. I didn’t react when he told me he was at his ex in laws all day yesterday bc I wanted time to process this. Thank you for your opinion!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2023): It all depends.
I am the "bridge" between my husband and his mother.
Since I wasn't brought up (and left on several occasions as a kid) by her I managed to have a splid relationship with her even though she suffers from personality disorders.
I have set a firm set od boundaries and it works for us.
I have never seen such a relationship between a wife and her MIL, so I know that it is pretty uncommon.
You need to talk about this with your bf. How long have you been together? I suppose not for long since you are just discovering this. His people (friends and family and yes his in laws) have been a part of his life for a very long time. Have you met them yet? Where are you at this point in your relationship? It would be natural at some point to start spending holidays together.
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